Is there a shopping anonymous I can join?

I have managed to add a Hermes bag, Fendi wallet and bag, Marc Jacobs flats, a second BCBG dress, camper boots and mimco bag amid all other shopping in the last 5 weeks.
I did not strike lottery. I will be suffering from my bills now.
I am not a label freak. Before this recent label stint I only own a small Gucci bag and wallet and a few pairs of sunnies from Gucci, Roberto Cavalli and Bvlgari.
Most of the items mentioned are purchased on sale, ranging 40-70%, though still expensive, but more justifiable.
I do not know what has gotten into me for this recent lash-out. Some friends say it’s just a phase. It better be! I will be opening my current and next credit card bill with trembling hands and buckling knees.
Why bring this upon myself you will ask? Well, I always believed that money are meant to be spent, and money can always be earned back. This is of course to my mummy’s long-suffering exasperation. I know she only meant well, worried that me and my brother will have no money, worried that we are still not saving considering that we are both getting “old” and all grown up. She has her point, a very valid point, especially for me, since I am the girl, am the single one, and am earning more compared to brother. That is why I will patiently let her preach to me about saving every time we talk.
I do try to take heed of mum’s words. I could hear mum in my head asking me to walk away and start saving every time I am at the cash register paying for my wants and desires. Then I will apologise to her in my head and try to justify my purchase. Hopeless huh…
I am indeed beginning to realize the importance of saving at the same time with my mounting debt to obliging credit card companies. I am trying to convince self paying cash is real, signing card is a trap.
I need to get a grip of my shopping impulses. As thankful as I am to be able to take small comforts from retail therapy (since the world does not stop for our sorrows), am really beginning to feel I am getting too far with being the retail darling. I probably already have way too much stuff for one person, with many things tossed or given away without ever seeing daylight.
Maybe mum’s effort has paid off at last and the thought of needing to save is gaining momentum. Although the will is still quite tender and needs beefing up, I must start instilling some serious discipline so that I will not be a slave to my plastic.
For a start, I am going to terminate one of my 2 cards here in dubai the moment I cleared my bill. Having too much credit limit tempting and tickling the mind is a very bad thing, so I will also request to lower current card limit from 28,000dh to 10,000dh.
Stay at home, play more mahjong, go to the gym more, just avoid shopping malls in general and channel the “out of sight, out of mind” theory. So, to my friends - please also stop telling me where the sales are.
This I hope is not just a passing phase. So help me now...

An over-due letter

You said u did it all for me…yet I am nothing to u anymore…or at least we are nothing anymore…and now u are willing to fly all the way to meet me for a short trip, or come here…and specifically said u are only doing this for me as crazy as u think u are…what and how should I react?? I chose not to…that is the best thing I can do…no reaction. Now if u text me and I dun reply in time u will call…u are making all these efforts now…I am confused…
Then u keep saying u are confused…u have been confused for a long time…maybe u are just protecting yourself, something u are extremely good and consistent at doing, but am I or have I done anything to warrant being kept out of that protective wall of yours? U know and have admitted that u can tell me anything, u already let me in.
There are certain things u can and are the only one who can help yourself…realized that I can be frustrated for u , but u have to be the one who is frustrated…if ur coping mechanism is to escape and hope everything goes away, well, some things don’t, some in fact will get worse and snowball. I am not just talking about us…
Then, about us, I have told u to sort it out yourself and I can’t be involved to help u sort them anymore.
When u are ready and clear, then come and tell me.
You know what u really want and need if u search deep inside u…and don’t deny the answers just and coz u are afraid…
You ask me if I will wait, my answer is still uncertain.
As for how u feel, I know and don’t at the same time.
I bear no hard feelings. In fact, I revel in all the great times that we have shared, and there are lots.
Maybe, like a line in a recent movie that stirred up a lot of thoughts…“our fates are entwined but never joined”…two people who are deeply in love with each other don’t necessary end up together, then I figured that is why a union between two is always worth celebrating.
Maybe, just like the forces of nature that brought us together in the 1st place, we shall leave us be in their enigma…

I have my stuff to sort out while you sort out yours, this is as clear as I can get for now.

fragile

Humans are very fragile beings, especially if affected by emotions.
Sometimes I may wish I rather not have emotions, especially sad or hurtful ones, yet what are we if we don’t possess feelings? Can’t imagine life without being able to feel, laugh, cry…remember that little boy in the movie A.I. where he crave so much to be real…the scene where in desperation to seek acknowledgement, he forced food and drinks into his robotic body at the dinner table despite knowing he risks damaging himself…heart-breaking…even robots have fragile moments, let alone us.
We are fragile so we can feel.
We are fragile so there is space to grow and emerge stronger.
We are fragile so we can learn how to heal, emotionally or physically.
We are also fragile coz we let ourselves be.
Being fragile is not a sign of weakness. It is a given to all of us.
Fragility is part of life. Everyone has a soft spot for something. Without weaknesses, we will not recognize our strengths.
We must not be afraid to be vulnerable, for it teaches us great lessons in the process. We have friends and family, even strangers, who will be there when we are feeling weak, helpless, hopeless.
Some of the greatest relieves are attained when we finally relinquish trying to stay strong even when the weight is too much to bear, and let out all our suppressed feelings…be human. Then we will be able to see clearer, reboot, and go on.
Just don’t let fragile take over and be an excuse...it's all a fine line.

Thinking aloud…full or empty

My life in dubai apart from work is full of watching serials, listening to music, reading, going online, meeting friends for coffee, shopping, and recently blogging.
You can fill your day with all sorts of things and activities yet still feel empty inside sometimes.
I will busy self with talking and typing to friends including loads of hollow crap amidst substantial meaningful conversations.
Going shopping to fill a bursting wardrobe, and end up with an empty wallet full of receipts.
Stuffing brain with knowledge and trivial from books, only to vacate most of the information again in no time to a forgetful mind.
Stringing various intense emotions along with all the fiction, dramas and music I expose self to, then finding bits and pieces that I can relate to own life and take comfort in knowing that someone shares similar feelings and thoughts. Yet emptiness creeps in again after initial satisfaction with the end of each drama series…a song close to my heart…the final page of a book…
At times, there exists an emptiness deep within me that I can’t rid of no matter what I do. Is this supposed to be normal? To have some level of emptiness from time to time especially as we age? Coz I can’t remember having that feeling when I was a child or teenager, or was I too young to know then??
I then wonder what I am lacking in life, and how I can banish that emptiness away…perhaps this hollow feeling is part and parcel of life and it strikes you when it thinks you need it so you can reassess your life, keep things in check…??
Sometimes I stare into space to fill my void with emptiness. Duration can range from a mere few seconds to several minutes. Like air, emptiness takes up space and has weight too. Emptiness can be extremely heavy to bear.
Perhaps full or empty, they are actually the same, interchangeable, co-dependent, and fiercely co-related.
Nonetheless, even with all these full and empty talk, the glass is still half-full to me(most of the time at least), including when emptiness strikes…and for that I am grateful.

Lessons from Angel Lover

This is a Taiwanese 40-parter that I just finished chasing starring the adorable Ming dao whom I can’t resist loving to bits.
Also a feel-good series necessary in life using pretty real and touching mini stories to convey different lessons.

Below are some stuff and clichés that lingered in my mind after completing the show.
Quotes are testing my translation skills, but you get the idea…

Loving a person is not doing whatever he or she asks you to do, but knowing to discern what is right and wrong before you blindly oblige.

Love yourself first, don’t wait for someone’s love or someone to love you.
If you take care of loving yourself, you will then have the ability to love others.
It is very dangerous to have someone else as your life goal, or rely your life on another person.

We will only see what we want and choose to see. If it’s something that we don’t want to believe or accept, we won’t see them even if it’s blatantly in your vision.

Accompanying someone’s pain may not necessarily alleviate their physical and mental suffering. Instead, we must try to our best ability to help him/her finish the things he/she wants to do so that they will have no regrets in life…or at least less regrets.

Everyone has a past. Do we always have to use the past to judge a person’s present?

Reunions are made joyous coz of goodbyes. But knowing this does not take away the pain when bidding goodbyes, and such is life.

You can lose everything, but you can’t lose yourself.

One must always remember love and passion empowers us to face anything in life.

Giving everything for love and getting bruised all over in return may sound foolish, but it is at least proof of making an effort and working hard to survive...hmm…a bit of twisted and fuzzy logic happening here but quite true.

God will always secretly put us in someone’s heart before taking us away.
Life is very fragile, you never know when you will be taken away from it.

Life is very short with many things we will miss or have no time for inevitably…so go out and do and say what you really feel and don’t hide your love from those you love before its too late.

The money we save IS what we earn, not our salary.

Do not change yourself for someone.

Habits can be changed!

Life is like holding a racket, grip must not be too hard nor too lax, and must constantly be fluid to advance or step back without being restricted.

Hope you find a helpful reminder here too.

A day in the flight of waiting

Change of duty to go to London a few days ago.
Haven’t been there for ages, but don’t normally request for the flight anyway coz we stay real close to the airport and real far from the city, and the 24 hours layover don’t allow much time to do much after the normally tiring flight.
Just looking forward to the nice and fluffy bed, Macdonalds and petrol station shop visit…catch up on some world news…read…watch dvds…sleep!!

Checked evita, my most trusted gal in EK before pick up and received message of 30min delay of flight…no big deal, got time to check weather there online and sip a cuppa tea. 15-19deg! London never fails to cool in the middle of summer.
Everything seemed ok until we were taxiing on the runway and the captain’s voice came on the P.A. Silent dread as news of having to return to stand due to a technical problem forced their way into our ears. One of my first class passenger let out an angry “what??!!” so loud I think the whole cabin can hear him.
I realised later he is right after all for such a huge reaction…coz this is just the beginning of a series of P.A. for 15min-waits and a very long long day.

Found out the culprit is the faulty de-icing valve on the left wing. Guessed you don’t wanna take off with that problem.
Opened doors and engineers and ground staff swarmed in and out during initial stage of discussions and actions. Decision made to test run engines to see if need to change the valve or not. 15 minutes gone...
Closed doors for the test run. Another 15 minutes. Full load of passengers started asking about their connecting flights…we have LOTS of passengers connecting to America and domestically within UK.
Opened doors. Must change the valve before we go. Engineers off to look for the part.
30 minutes. More passengers getting upset while we kept up the smiles and refreshments.
Closed doors for 2nd engine test run. 15 minutes. Clear!
Opened doors for refueling, new load sheets and mountains of paperwork, water and juice uplift…lots of people getting in and out. More questions about connecting flights. Another 30 minutes crept past in this midst of mayhem…
Closed doors for the last time. At last!! We are off again.
Getting tired as only slept 2 hours.
There was a moment of peace and tranquility...
Suddenly a familiar voice came on the P.A. again.
ARRRGGHH… lucky am not sitting facing passengers to witness my face contort to grimace.
Busy time of the day, need another 10 minutes to queue for take-off. Phew!! At least it is not another technical problem.
Finally took off. Wheee!!! 7 hours of flight time seemed like forever that day though. Answered same questions yet again about connecting flights. A lot of them are so concerned they don’t realize they are repeating questions. Really empathized with them as it’s already a certainty they already lost their connecting flights. Patience comes easy when you feel for them, especially the nice and understanding ones who are not threatening to cut your head off while venting their frustrations.
We were told mid-flight that 150 passengers won’t have accommodation that night due to shortage of rooms in London. For a moment I feel sorry for the ground staff who have to break the bad news to the affected ones upon arrival, but I feel more sorry for the passengers as some have came a long way. They must be dead beat already though still blissfully unaware the saga does not end with the flight.

Have never been happier to see the gloomy skies of London as we were preparing for approach. By that time I am so tired my sanity is hanging by a thread…fighting to stay awake for the landing…
The moment I felt the wheels touch the ground, it was sheer relief taking over my almost brain dead mind and gave me some needed adrenaline boost.

Another P.A. came on so unexpectedly I almost jumped out of my skin. Maybe its a better idea by now to stop making P.As I thought, but a captain has his obligation to keep everyone informed.

Apparently the bridge that was allocated to us is not available yet so we must wait for about 20 minutes on the tarmac.
When we did make it to the bridge, there was a problem connecting it to the aircraft. Another 10 minutes of fumbling around. Talk about things when they do go wrong...

Still smiling actually, and I am not referring to the fake EK smile resembling a botox grin that we have to adopt sometimes. Know things do happen and it is no one’s fault, just a bad day on the job.
More and major consolation came from the reciprocal smiles and big heartfelt thank yous from most of the passengers(except the innately grumpy ones) as they were disembarking…for a great flight despite all the hiccups and them losing their connecting flights.

This is the end I thought…but there is more waiting waiting…and by that time I already gave up looking at the watch.
Of all the times I have been to London, the crew bus is never late. In fact, it is always there before us.
Not that day.
We waited another 15 minutes for the bus to appear. Got on and found out the bus is not loaded with our suitcases yet(another first of its case) so we have to drive over to wait for our bags to be loaded.

Got to the hotel room three and a half hours later than I expected.

But at least there is no more waiting.

Read and watched nothing that I brought with me during the stay, but found out that the new chicken snack wrap from Macdonalds is very very yummy.

The next day we received an official note from the management for a job well done and how passengers gave positive feedback and gratitude to us after the flight.

Now that is a happy ending to me.

Men Talk

Recalling these 2 crew stereo-typing men from different countries. Apparently, they must have had vast experiences between them. I was just attentive listener to this interesting conversation since I don’t have much to contribute.
This is according to what they think to my best memory and does not represent my concurrence unless otherwise stated:
Greeks and Italians and French are great lovers but they will always certainly be mistress-prone. Thus just make sure they stay as just lovers and nothing more I guess??
Arabs are most generous with showering you gifts.
Aussies are so laid back and can’t be bothered so if you waiting or longing to be pursued and get swept off your feet don’t go for them else get ready to be frustrated or very disappointed. Neighbour Kiwis are a close relative to this category too.
Africans are good in bedroom department for sheer size generally. Maybe size does matter after all…?
English are prone to be jerks, but fun.
Asians…strange…can’t remember what they said for some reason…maybe you have something to add??

That being said, just read this for entertainments' sake.
Men, wherever they come from, as long as he treats you with respect, love, and care is most paramount.

As long as you can share both joys and woes, and support each other through thick and thin, know that whatever happens you will be there for each other...learn and grow together.

As long as he does not make you cry(unless sharing or holding your tears with you)…then should be enough to overcome any obstacles.

Most important is thy heart.
Now…if only can find him…

Moving

Been busy shifting all my stuff and settling in to the master bedroom of existing apartment over the last few days…
Sleep deprived…I need 12hours straight up, not spread over 3 days.
All the bending and climbing and shifting also gave me backache and sore limbs coz not been exercising enough for the last 2 months.
However, all the whining aside, this is worth it.
The satisfaction and joy and excitement of finally being able to evacuate my previous cramped and junked-up pig sty to a more spacious room with en suite bathroom…It is all quite an emotional experience and have kept me on an adrenaline high to survive with such little sleep and still feeling happy.
The second day Christine is nice to offer to drive me to ikea to get some stuff. Storage boxes from there – they are a god-sent!! One of the best ikea came up with and I shall always patronize (oh, also the meatballs and hot dogs you can find in every ikea outlet from all over the world). Anyway, back to the storage solutions, ikea offers many styles and shapes and materials to choose from to cater most with very reasonable price tags.
And whenever I reach the children’s section showroom, I feel very happy with the bright and cheery colours and all the cute and little things. It’s like a little escapade to touchbase with your own inner child. I love the lights and storage boxes from there especially.
When we got back chris and I joined forces to set up the shelf unit that I got for my books. Had a couple of hiccups along the way and took an hour or so of fumbling around, in between lamenting about where the men are when we needed them. But we solved the hiccups and did it! Girl power!! Thanks chris! Would not have done it better if not for you that day.
I have accumulated so much stuff over the last 5.5 years in dubai it’s unbelievably believable during the move. The clothes, books, cds, dvds especially, and the amazing discovery that I still own 40 pairs of footwear after de-junking! This is one category that has seen exponential growth rate over the past 12 months. I concluded it must be the age thing setting in for my steady growth of liking for shoes
Dresses – I don’t even dare count…just those in black I think I have about 20…so no need to elaborate more here. Plus mountains of tops, about 15 pairs of jeans, two big boxes of bags and more clothes everywhere filling all angles of my vision. I am a clothes horse without the clothes horse frame.
I also have thirteen different shower gels and loads of body cream, and enough eye shadows and lip glosses to pass it down as family heirlooms if only they last forever.
In the end, I really thank god they all fit along with the storage boxes which helped tremendously with the organizing of stuff. The extra wardrobe door really helps.
I can see the floor again! I can also show off my ornaments and candles properly. I have a much much wider choice of what to wear now my clothes are all together in full view, including some favourite pieces that I re-discovered during the move. I also recovered my beloved Buddha pendant that I thought I lost over a year back!

One word – content! Dubai is suddenly more adorable after moving rooms. And now I no need to fret about space if mum and bro and sis-in-law want to come altogether for visit.
Gave away my semi-psychotic TV, stereo, and radio player with all the unwanted clothes and knick-knacks…hopefully they will find their way to better use, be it the Dhaka project or something else. I left their fate at the hands of the security guard downstairs.
So here I am, settled at last in my cosy new room sharing my life with you. I hope you too are cosied up in your own space reading this.

I should be so lucky…

I almost set myself on fire just now…had this portable light that I bought from ikea since I joined. It has been loyal without even fusing once in the last 5 plus years. Know that it tends to get hot but its ok coz my room is always freaking cold.
I was propping self in bed reading when I 1st smelled something burning…initially thought its my candle coz I just blew out one…a few minutes later I smelled it again and decided to follow the smell to trace it…turned around and saw a patch of the pillow case of the pillow near the light is scorched brown with a teeniest wee bit of smoke!! Quickly removed pillow from the light and turned the light away…whoa, did not know all these while that the light can be THAT hot till now…
Began thinking what a lucky escape…the patch is so close to me and so close to catching fire…my hair especially…if I have ignored the smell a little longer or fell asleep(I am super heavy sleeper, funny that I always say even fire won’t wake me)…I don’t dare imagine the consequences! I can only thank my lucky stars and guardian angel, and daddy and ah ma.
Talk about lucky, must say been pretty fortunate lately. Like yesterday supposed to go to hydrabad (one of the less desirable flights to get) but at the last minute was asked to do short and sweet Muscat instead, operating a grade higher = more flying pay too! A bit cheap thrill perhaps but it’s as if someone out there heard me and saw how shagged I have been the last few days coz of the move and took mercy on me.
The day before I had airport standby, was also grateful not to be pulled out for anything and thus have time to go apply for the broadband I am dying to be reconnected for, and got the technician in to install with minimal waiting time.
My 1st reserve standby I was pulled out for Bangkok-Sydney which is one of those flights I am happy to go to especially during reserve, as it’s a long 8-day trip and reserve will seem to finish faster.
My thoughts stretched wider, and pondered about my life so far.
I am born with everything intact and in the right places.
Childhood and adolescence is normal, no major traumas or accidents except the time when I mistook my granny’s sleeping pills for candy and had to get my stomach pumped…and that arm contusion I suffered from a bike fall. I may have clumsy genes but they have not resulted in anything major.
I am well fed and nourished apart from the very occasional self-induced starve.
I get to travel to experience and see many places around the world.
I am not rich but I still enjoy the luxury to afford buying self and loved ones luxury.
I don’t have too many friends, but enough to make me feel loved and not alone.
I have a loving mum and brother, and daddy and ah ma who I know will always be with me and look out for me from above.
I may not be lucky in love yet, but love has taught me many lessons essential in life and growth.
I have not been abused, raped, robbed, conned, shot at…anything violent or horrible.
My flying career has been smooth with no major incidents. In fact, been pretty smooth sailing work-wise period.
What else…I am alive and kicking which is most important. Life is very short. You never know what is gonna happen next so must treasure every moment and don’t hide your love and passion for the things and people that matter. It is true there are times when everything seemed tough and giving up is easier, I have been through that including being in a very dark place once, and trust me – we must and will always find strength to go on, and you will realize that it’s not so bad after all…

Thank you my lucky stars…if it’s not too much to ask please let me get a sin flight soon…

Dubai lately

Dubai is a strange place sometimes.
I just witnessed 5 minutes of fireworks at 3.15am this morning, don’t know why and don’t really care…nice surprise considering I was beginning to imagine a gun fight or something dramatic when I first heard the bangs, plus I love fireworks. They always certainly put a smile on my face.

The roads these days are changing everyday…must be to accommodate the crazy growth this city is going through at the moment…the temporary yellow road signs may seem confusing but they actually direct better than the existing ones.

We are now entering the middle (but not yet the worse) of summer weather. Cold heartless heat combined with 200% humidity outside. Yet, it’s freezing everywhere else inside with the a/c blasting like there is no tomorrow, thus still need a cardigan handy in your bag.

The infamous and still unrepentant dubai traffic jams…every time you think it has reached saturation point and can’t get any worse, it will soar new heights as if to spite you. Now you have to set aside an hour of angst for a fifteen minute destination during peak hours.
Can’t imagine the spike in stress levels all drivers must be facing (as if driving in dubai is not already stressful enough without the traffic) when I the perennial passenger feel stressed too. All the crazy drivers, no signaling, undertaking, incessant honking if you are a split second slow to move once lights turn green…
Don’t get a manual in dubai for now until they get the roads sorted.

A city of 4WDS and cranes, a landscape of diminishing sand...
I am content with own peaceful sanctuary at home, especially after recent move to the master bedroom, I can indulge self in own space and watch the craziness outside in silence behind the glass windows.

New lashes

Succumbed to vanity and had eye lash extensions done on a recent Bangkok trip.
Procedure takes an hour and involves a girl patiently and painstakingly sticking fake lash by fake lash onto my own sparse and fine ones. You can choose different lengths to suit your preference and cost 700baht. I went for medium.
When I first opened my eyes after it’s done, I feel like I have a mini curtain attached to my view. It’s really pretty weird and I started wondering if that is how all the long-and-luscious-lash owners feel and see too. Also felt that my lashes are finally functioning like they are meant to – block and protect particles from entering and irritating our vision.
Looked into the mirror and they look real and fake at the same time. Most distinctively, I learnt that the make-up artists are right that mascara is essential to open your eyes (the lash extensions create a mascara-ed look perpetually). Although have to rely on fake lashes to do the job, am rather surprised by the dramatic change.

This is the only fake thing I allowed on me and as far as I will go cosmetically.
When I reported for flight later that night, I was swarmed by compliments from fellow female crew about how much better I look (so much so I felt like I must look bad before though I know it’s just the contrast) and answering a sea of questions that came with the oohs and aahs as if I am a pro when this is my virgin attempt. A few of them took down directions of the shop I went to so they can go on their next trip. One said I am the 1st gal with the extensions that look so good she is inspired to do so herself although she used to think otherwise…honestly I was a little overwhelmed and amused by the reactions my lash extensions generated, but at least they are all positive so far.

Nonetheless, it’s still a bit uncomfortable and inconvenient to have these 2 foreign strips on my eyes. Have to be ultra careful…cannot rub my eyes when itchy…washing my face takes twice as long...limited sleep positions…feeling that can’t blink too hard…wondering if I can still go swimming properly…
By the time I got back to dubai I was getting a little impatient and irritated by it all and questioning if this is worth it, even looking forward somehow to the day my eye lashes are liberated and back to original state…am I really that vain to be bothered in the long term? Wonder how this gal I just knew managed to convince herself to have extensions every month…guessed it’s down to making them habitual and the extents you will go for beauty…

Not that I do not feel the pressure to keep up the looks, its only natural and inevitable. I know I am a little chubby and not as toned as my ideal, skin not as good as before with unexpected and helpless and increasing zit visits …can’t see why must go to hairdresser every month, even every two months(my average is 3 times a year…highest being almost one year not gone, that’s why I always find the just-get-up hair look suitable and convenient for me), yet I like my spa perm once in a while to accentuate my natural curls… I really only know two ways to do my eye make-up…or one and a half. I am a half-baked vain-ist…

Best peak now is that I can get away without eye make up with these new found lashes, getting made-up for work takes only 5 minutes…but clumsy gene in me may take over very soon and I wonder if my lashes can last half of the expected one month…then I wonder what do I do if need to remove or refill them but no Bangkok trips, plus in midst of reserve so no say over where I go…a little panic alarm bell goes off my head when I imagine self in moment of desperation will attempt to de-glue lashes myself and end up pulling out everything and turning lashless!! (which in this case is really a legitimate worry)

For now will try my best to be gentle and careful with them while they last.

Learning little things about the big big world

This is supposed to be posted 2 weeks ago but can’t coz need to re-apply for internet connection again. But here it is:

Just read chris’s latest blog entries and brought back some mind-provoking thoughts that have come and gone many times before.

I may not like that the job requires me to stay in dubai, yet I have not regretted making this career decision mainly because it has taught me many things, and I still either learn something new or reinforce what I already learnt with every new trip.
Real eye-opener for me the froggie who managed to jump out of the protected well and see the rest of the sky…things that you don’t and can’t and won’t learn in school unfortunately…I have since emerged much worldlier.
Working and interacting with various cultures and more nationalities, I become more tolerant and understanding to different cultures but at same time also inevitably developed a little racism to some others.
Not proud to be racist, stains my belief that no one should ever be, but am afraid will be quite hypocrite if insist no coz some of these people really ask for it thus deserve it…but do remind self its just some of them coz the black sheep happens to be the majority in this case…I just allow less benefit of doubt to these selected ones.

Also taught me to be more appreciative and thankful of Singapore and being a Singaporean, yet at same time saw more clearly the limitations that Singapore will always face. Will not elaborate here as this is another essay on its own.

The job lets you experience different standards of living from one extreme to the other.
I will always remember my 1st Dhaka trip. Had a frail looking mother and child approaching me. I remember her eyes…one of the saddest pair I have met. She had her free hand outstretched and I know I can’t not help. Before I knew it more mothers with babies came from nowhere and I was giving away my allowance, leaving just enough to pay for the tuk-tuk ride back to the hotel.
The tuk-tuk driver…he spoke little but good English. His tuk-tuk is really one of the oldest and most shitty ones I have been in, I thought it will fall apart like sticks anytime, but he was very proud of it. Said he is fortunate to have that to earn a living for the family and not have to resort to begging. We passed through these main streets with traffic lights that don’t work at all. The smell of the city is unforgettable… a dull stench lingering the hot and dusty air, yet it does not offend when you combine that with what you see. Upon reaching the hotel, he politely beseeched me to spare him soap and shampoo from my room if I don’t mind. How can I mind? In fact, I was too happy to help. I went upstairs and gave him what I can on top of the hotel amenities in a bag.
He thanked me like I just saved his life.
That smile on his face like he just received a bag full of gold.
I have no idea I am such a lucky cow born with so much more privilege that I assume are given and have taken for granted, until then.
Since that trip I developed a habit to offer leftover bread and juices and dates on the aircraft to cleaners from most gulf and asian destinations. They will be binned anyway so why not re-channel them to better use. In some destinations they are not allowed to eat or take anything off the plane during and after cleaning. I have witnessed some mixing the bread bag with the trash in a bid to smuggle it out. Some just bend down in a corner pretending to clean something and scoffing these already hard and dry bread so fast I worry they will choke.
Flying has given me a unique lifestyle that can be hard to let go. Flying has also keep me grounded about life.

Other interesting discoveries:
I should be so lucky to enjoy the luxury of not needing to shave my arms and legs at all and period! I have seen a few hairy arms on girls before I moved to dubai and remembered would always wonder why. I also used to think that girls never get hairy legs and its only a guy thing. Total myth and ignorance on my part!
Also how hairy a human being can be(very very very very hairy!) from my 1st water park visit in dubai.
Oui!! The French can be real snobs. And if you want to force them to speak to you in English, speak really bad French coz they just can’t bear to hear us ruin their language.
The borderline OCD for tidiness goes to the Japs. If there is a destination that EK wants to save on cleaning the cabins to cut costs or whatever, make it Osaka and Nagoya.
The best sausages must be in Germany. Comes in all sorts of lengths, thickness, colour, flavour. I buy them up like a sausage-obsessed freak. And they are yummy except perhaps the ones made out of soy I bought by mistake one time.
The Americans really love to talk about anything including a lot of crap. That is why they triumph in entertainment both big and small screens.
The true essence of the term “go dutch”, as inspired by the “count to the last cent” dutch.

Some people are really racist to the extent they despise their own fellow country-men which up to today still baffles me. I mean, how can you? You forgot you are also one of them? Yes there is always the ugly Singaporean in every country. But these people are not just targeting the ugly ones, they despise all the others like he/she is the one and only superior being of his kind.

Anywayz…this is just to mention some lah. I am sure to share lots of what I learnt here whenever I can.