I am undergoing my promotion training. 2 days down, 2 to go.
I am using writing as an outlet to de-stress, and also to prep self for mountains more writing with the new role in EK that is to be my imminent future permanent fixture…least for the next 3 months when I will be in the pool and getting scrutinized for all sorts of paperwork and report writing. A review meeting will then take place to assess my competencies before I can be a full-fledge senior.
Right now, honestly, I am not really wishing to pass so I can go back to my peaceful little life in first class. Yah…tossing self a wet blanket coz still overwhelmed by the amount of assignments, reports and assessments that I must collate and amass to present during the review. Part also the fact that I have 2 sets of leave in between = less flights = less opportunities to complete stuff needed. Honoring my last-minute fashion, none of the 4 modules, each a full day class on own time off, has been done. This is since lun has either been busy doing all her beloved long trips then spending off days bonding with her bed, and (sheepish look surfacing) chasing season 1 of 24 and Heros (yes I am slow but I recognize the good stuff and I get there!). Half-heartedness about the impending role change plays a considerable part as well while I try to remind self what prompted the decision to go for the promotion in the 1st place……..
Alright, enough whining already. Should start focusing on what needs to be done with the precious time left. Take some responsibility and ownership, and try to stay positive, like the compliment I received from a practical today for excellent assertiveness and management. I can be assertive after all, a part of me I did not know existed sprang out and caught me by surprise.
New year, new challenges to keep life interesting and seek self-improvement and growth…push some boundaries right?
---------
Decided to head to gym for quick 25 minutes to continue ongoing attempt to cultivate love for the step machine. It’s the eve of my 29th anniversary of life. Made the call for some self-pampering, starting with a bath featuring Mr Butterball as bathball of the day. I can’t recall the last time I had a bath, definitely more than a year ago, thus I am justified! Anyway, I don’t need justifications for a little indulgence on this night. As I soaked and purred in relaxing bliss, I contemplated about beginning the final year of my 20s. I do not need it to start or end with a bang, just seeking contentment and well-being for self and whomever I care about. Started missing home and mum a lot, but I am thankful for all the well wishes from dear friends streaming in since this morning, allowing many extra smiling moments to happen. Kisses to you all!
It’s now just past midnight. I wish self a happy birthday mentally, with a moment of tranquility and silence surrounding and lingering after…the bath did it’s little trick. Already made another mental note to relive that indulgence in Hamburg in a few days, where that peachy, cute, deep, vintage-looking tub with the quaintest leg stands awaits! Must wash hair while submerged in water again, nearly forgot how heavenly it feels to run your fingers through your floating mane in it…another therapeutic experience.
It's time for some shut-eye, so I have enough energy to last tomorrow. Must try to at least have a nice dinner I guess…with or without the cake!
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Sunday, 20 January 2008
Food for thought...so to speak..
Was feeling a bit lonely, tired, drained, and hungry. It’s getting late and I have another early 5.30am rise tomorrow for training. A few critical minutes of mental struggle later, hunger won and I got up to nuke the leftover pasta that I have cooked the day before. The portion is just nice for a light meal, in my dictionary at least.
Then out of the blue I remembered the other night not so long ago…I was hungry too, and you asked me what I wanted to eat. I had no particular cravings, just hungry, not itchy-mouth hungry but really rather starved…coz we had a big family Christmas lunch that extended till 5pm, and by the time we got back it’s already pushing 11pm, justifiable judging from my notorious appetite.
You thought for a moment and suggested omelette. I frowned a little, since it’s not my favourite type of eggs, also not my expected candidate for supper.
You patiently and matter-of-factly (as an engineer would) said that it’s quick and substantial yet not too rich. Then you went on to describe what you would put in that omelette: whole cherry tomatoes plucked from the backyard, a little cheese, and bacon – all served with a lightly buttered toast under…my face began to soften, heart already sold actually. Simple yet alluring concoction somehow in that span of time. Afterall, you do make good omelettes and scrambled eggs tasty enough for me to deviate from my normal choice of sunny side-ups. In fact, I was not expected to do anything at all, just wait around in bed, obsessing with facebook, a recent addiction that you can’t make any sense of (especially this game in it called warbook).
I heard some clutter, chopping, sizzling…before I know it the aroma found it’s way into my nose, producing a mixed spontaneous effect of satiating my hunger and intensifying it at the same time. And voila! You appeared in the doorway, holding up two plates with a smile. Heh, so you must be quite hungry too huh, or perhaps a more itchy-mouth thing for you.
We didn’t waste anytime and started digging into it pretty deftly. It was one of the best, even possibly the best omelette I have ever had. I had to keep reminding self to slow down so I could savour the dish more and drag out the gastro-euphoria just a bit longer. I was not biased. It’s truly a quality omelette, that whole idea of whole cherry tomatoes working it’s magic too (apart from not making the omelette soggy as cut tomatoes do, imagine these bursts of intense ripe tomato flavours fluttering around your palette, perfectly balancing the cheese and bacon somehow)...and it’s made tonnes better yet again because it’s made for you when you are hungry without asking, and brought straight to your lap…wrapped with warmth, care and tenderness, better than words can express…which you suck at anyway. Also brought back memories of those mornings when you will let me sleep in and bring me juice and brekkie in bed. In that aspect, I am indeed spoilt to the brim. It’s what you are good at, so I guess I will just keep indulging...
I have already finished my kid-sized portion pasta by now. My tummy is happy, and feeling a bit warmer and fuzzier than it should be fueled by this short recollection. Just what I needed before I hit the lights in my cold cold room in dubai…plus a sweet lingering thought for the mind before gruesome training commence again in the morning.
Then out of the blue I remembered the other night not so long ago…I was hungry too, and you asked me what I wanted to eat. I had no particular cravings, just hungry, not itchy-mouth hungry but really rather starved…coz we had a big family Christmas lunch that extended till 5pm, and by the time we got back it’s already pushing 11pm, justifiable judging from my notorious appetite.
You thought for a moment and suggested omelette. I frowned a little, since it’s not my favourite type of eggs, also not my expected candidate for supper.
You patiently and matter-of-factly (as an engineer would) said that it’s quick and substantial yet not too rich. Then you went on to describe what you would put in that omelette: whole cherry tomatoes plucked from the backyard, a little cheese, and bacon – all served with a lightly buttered toast under…my face began to soften, heart already sold actually. Simple yet alluring concoction somehow in that span of time. Afterall, you do make good omelettes and scrambled eggs tasty enough for me to deviate from my normal choice of sunny side-ups. In fact, I was not expected to do anything at all, just wait around in bed, obsessing with facebook, a recent addiction that you can’t make any sense of (especially this game in it called warbook).
I heard some clutter, chopping, sizzling…before I know it the aroma found it’s way into my nose, producing a mixed spontaneous effect of satiating my hunger and intensifying it at the same time. And voila! You appeared in the doorway, holding up two plates with a smile. Heh, so you must be quite hungry too huh, or perhaps a more itchy-mouth thing for you.
We didn’t waste anytime and started digging into it pretty deftly. It was one of the best, even possibly the best omelette I have ever had. I had to keep reminding self to slow down so I could savour the dish more and drag out the gastro-euphoria just a bit longer. I was not biased. It’s truly a quality omelette, that whole idea of whole cherry tomatoes working it’s magic too (apart from not making the omelette soggy as cut tomatoes do, imagine these bursts of intense ripe tomato flavours fluttering around your palette, perfectly balancing the cheese and bacon somehow)...and it’s made tonnes better yet again because it’s made for you when you are hungry without asking, and brought straight to your lap…wrapped with warmth, care and tenderness, better than words can express…which you suck at anyway. Also brought back memories of those mornings when you will let me sleep in and bring me juice and brekkie in bed. In that aspect, I am indeed spoilt to the brim. It’s what you are good at, so I guess I will just keep indulging...
I have already finished my kid-sized portion pasta by now. My tummy is happy, and feeling a bit warmer and fuzzier than it should be fueled by this short recollection. Just what I needed before I hit the lights in my cold cold room in dubai…plus a sweet lingering thought for the mind before gruesome training commence again in the morning.
Friday, 18 January 2008
updates
Finally, and naturally, 2008 arrived. 2007 seemed to have came and went like an uncatchable breeze, as in time itself. I remembered when the clock struck midnight on new years’ eve, my mind was kind of blank after the initial elevated heart rate and sense of anticipation during the last 5 seconds of 2007.
New year, new you. Seems to be a good way and reason to restart, reboot, another fresh page of your life awaiting to be written.
Some people like to suffer to feel alive...have you heard of that saying? I can relate to that to a certain extent. Decided to channel some energies towards more gym visits, one of my new years’ resolution to keep fit, so I can eat whatever I want without compromising my ever decreasing metabolism. In exchange of the physical suffering, I aim to maximize the natural high from the endorphins after the workout plus learn some perseverance along the way. I have conquered the step machine I have avoided my whole life thrice this year and learnt to change my feelings for it from loathe to respect. This is another cheapthrill milestone after my treadmill conquest 18 months ago.
Talk about natural high. Everyone likes to feel good, wants to feel good, seeks to feel good. There are many ways to attain that feeling. Thus, apart from working out a sweat to feel better, am still seeking love. Hah! What else huh…so predictable… Love…presents itself in many different kinds and ways as we all know. Everyone is loved by someone and more. I know therefore I am too. But sometimes it gets hard to see or feel the love. Perhaps the more you need it, the more evasive they get, like some twisted murphys’ law. I am choosing to be passive on the receiving end, though still happy to be aggressive giving it… being a hopeless sentimentalist and emotionalist, money can make the world go round, but love is what keeps it round.
Words have been constipated lately, put that to having too many thoughts overcrowding my mind, too messy to consolidate and translate to words to accurately reflect what I am feeling. As you may already realize that by now, this entry is sort of all over the place. Apologies if it looks like a feeble attempt to have the decency to organize my thoughts properly before sharing, but such is also an accurate reflection of my state of mind. I hope to see more clarity after getting these all out.
It’s nice to have friends organize surprise parties for you…shows that you are blessed and loved…someone cares…someone bothers…had a dear friend who received such royal treatment recently, glad to witness these things happening to people who are also dear to me…already blessed and grateful to have what I have, perhaps already taken more than I deserved anyway. I wished I was there to witness the whole event, but I was on a trip and have to miss it. Just want to feel the magic of it all.
Another dear friend finally made me remove all my dingle-dangles from one of my mobile phones because she gave me a swaroski mobile phone strap for the new year. I thought why not since it’s the beginning of a new year after all. It felt like a totally new and unfamiliar phone when it was done yesterday…sort of weird for me still.
A lot of those dangly bits that I have removed are given by friends. One is a weather charm for good weather wherever I fly to; a 3-inch snoopy-hugging-a-donut screen wiper(which I had to promise to use it before I got it. I can now say it has since been over-utilised past it’s projected retirement date), snoopy not white anymore, and battle-scarred too from all my rough handlings; an amulet given to me wishing all my dreams will come true; a skeleton jack head to honour my love for animation nightmare before Christmas…you get the idea about the clutter size by now I think.
Finally got a new 80GB ipod classic for Christmas to replace my 3rd generation dying original love, so happy that all my songs can be reunited!! Some friends ask why need so many songs when my nano with a capacity of 500songs is already plenty for most…guessed I just like that idea…all 7340 songs together and counting….still have space to put photos on top of the prints I carry around so I can feel even closer to my loved ones when I travel. I am starting to reconsolidate my playlists, which may be time-consuming, but am more than happy to oblige whenever I can.
Am also starting training as a senior in a couple of days. Have been having mixed feelings about that since I did not feel as happy or excited as I thought I will be when I got the promotion. Have done none of the assignments that I need to complete before training starts, but I guess have to grin and bare it and finish off the minimal in the next 36 hours. May still be apprehensive but guess you never know what’s in store for you until you give it a shot right? I may not be a natural born leader, but I hope I will be equipped with some useful skills during the course of the training that is really applicable and beneficial to know for any job. Time to learn something new and put my rusting brain to use! Worse come to worse, I shall go back to my little happy monotonous life in first class where responsibilities end after every landing.
The only thing that sucks is that my 4-day training is in the middle of my birthday. Then again, such is life right. It’s not the best case scenario I have envisioned but also no big deal I tell myself. Just a stupid birthday and getting older officially…nothing much to celebrate I console myself…although it will still be nice to spend the special day in Nice for the 1st time(last year), or just be in Singapore year before last…get a grip Sharon and snap out of it now! Pointless to go in circles about this. New year, new you!
New year, new you. Seems to be a good way and reason to restart, reboot, another fresh page of your life awaiting to be written.
Some people like to suffer to feel alive...have you heard of that saying? I can relate to that to a certain extent. Decided to channel some energies towards more gym visits, one of my new years’ resolution to keep fit, so I can eat whatever I want without compromising my ever decreasing metabolism. In exchange of the physical suffering, I aim to maximize the natural high from the endorphins after the workout plus learn some perseverance along the way. I have conquered the step machine I have avoided my whole life thrice this year and learnt to change my feelings for it from loathe to respect. This is another cheapthrill milestone after my treadmill conquest 18 months ago.
Talk about natural high. Everyone likes to feel good, wants to feel good, seeks to feel good. There are many ways to attain that feeling. Thus, apart from working out a sweat to feel better, am still seeking love. Hah! What else huh…so predictable… Love…presents itself in many different kinds and ways as we all know. Everyone is loved by someone and more. I know therefore I am too. But sometimes it gets hard to see or feel the love. Perhaps the more you need it, the more evasive they get, like some twisted murphys’ law. I am choosing to be passive on the receiving end, though still happy to be aggressive giving it… being a hopeless sentimentalist and emotionalist, money can make the world go round, but love is what keeps it round.
Words have been constipated lately, put that to having too many thoughts overcrowding my mind, too messy to consolidate and translate to words to accurately reflect what I am feeling. As you may already realize that by now, this entry is sort of all over the place. Apologies if it looks like a feeble attempt to have the decency to organize my thoughts properly before sharing, but such is also an accurate reflection of my state of mind. I hope to see more clarity after getting these all out.
It’s nice to have friends organize surprise parties for you…shows that you are blessed and loved…someone cares…someone bothers…had a dear friend who received such royal treatment recently, glad to witness these things happening to people who are also dear to me…already blessed and grateful to have what I have, perhaps already taken more than I deserved anyway. I wished I was there to witness the whole event, but I was on a trip and have to miss it. Just want to feel the magic of it all.
Another dear friend finally made me remove all my dingle-dangles from one of my mobile phones because she gave me a swaroski mobile phone strap for the new year. I thought why not since it’s the beginning of a new year after all. It felt like a totally new and unfamiliar phone when it was done yesterday…sort of weird for me still.
A lot of those dangly bits that I have removed are given by friends. One is a weather charm for good weather wherever I fly to; a 3-inch snoopy-hugging-a-donut screen wiper(which I had to promise to use it before I got it. I can now say it has since been over-utilised past it’s projected retirement date), snoopy not white anymore, and battle-scarred too from all my rough handlings; an amulet given to me wishing all my dreams will come true; a skeleton jack head to honour my love for animation nightmare before Christmas…you get the idea about the clutter size by now I think.
Finally got a new 80GB ipod classic for Christmas to replace my 3rd generation dying original love, so happy that all my songs can be reunited!! Some friends ask why need so many songs when my nano with a capacity of 500songs is already plenty for most…guessed I just like that idea…all 7340 songs together and counting….still have space to put photos on top of the prints I carry around so I can feel even closer to my loved ones when I travel. I am starting to reconsolidate my playlists, which may be time-consuming, but am more than happy to oblige whenever I can.
Am also starting training as a senior in a couple of days. Have been having mixed feelings about that since I did not feel as happy or excited as I thought I will be when I got the promotion. Have done none of the assignments that I need to complete before training starts, but I guess have to grin and bare it and finish off the minimal in the next 36 hours. May still be apprehensive but guess you never know what’s in store for you until you give it a shot right? I may not be a natural born leader, but I hope I will be equipped with some useful skills during the course of the training that is really applicable and beneficial to know for any job. Time to learn something new and put my rusting brain to use! Worse come to worse, I shall go back to my little happy monotonous life in first class where responsibilities end after every landing.
The only thing that sucks is that my 4-day training is in the middle of my birthday. Then again, such is life right. It’s not the best case scenario I have envisioned but also no big deal I tell myself. Just a stupid birthday and getting older officially…nothing much to celebrate I console myself…although it will still be nice to spend the special day in Nice for the 1st time(last year), or just be in Singapore year before last…get a grip Sharon and snap out of it now! Pointless to go in circles about this. New year, new you!
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