Gosh!! Realized it’s been more than 2 months since I had a new post on my blog apart from 2 minimal mood updates. Such a slack I have become of late (as much as I hate to admit it, I have to say the same for my running regime coming to a standstill…not proud at all)!
Apart from being heavily sidetracked to facebook and it’s countless addictions through the gazillion applications available, I have been busy between doing long trips and taking time off for a short Phuket R&R stint, going back to Singapore on leave to catch up with folks and friends that I can’t get enough of, and attending a dear friend’s wedding.
The little time I have left in dubai, which is actually not little since I actually had 5 days to study for my recurrent safety exams, had I not spent it going goo-goo-ga-ga over Dr House in his namesake series, therefore leaving my 4-inch manual to the last 14 hours (8 of which were spent sleeping) before the big day. I scoffed down three 24-episode seasons instead while building a ridiculously insane crush on my small screen unorthodox hero. I am not normally a fickle lover but I am afraid he has temporarily taken over Alan Shore (of Boston Legal), as guilty and torn as I feel…heheh, lun thinks her love life is not complicated enough so have to involve TV characters! I so like to torture myself with fruitless and mindless loving.
Nonetheless, these last 2 months seemed to have sped past, and the next thing I know…poof! It’s December! I freaked for a bit…2007 is suddenly ending, just like this…time is as cruel as it is precious and priceless. Started performing a quick mental review of the ending year’s Hi and Lo-lites, while starting yet another procrastinating new year’s resolution list - the usual suspects on it including eat less, shop less, run more, earn/save more, and getting that damn driving license. How can I start procrastinating less for a start? In the end I also decided to add “achieve happiness and content from inside out with the little things in life”, after “continue effort to reduce carbon footprints”.
I shall recommence my running in Perth when I get there in the next 2 days, as I love putting along the swan river with a very satisfying and boosting 10km circuit, that is provided I persevere to finish it! In fact, I will be happy just to do half of the circuit since it's been a while since I last did the whole shebang.
Between now and then, I shall try to recuperate from the 8-day trip I just finished whilst running around dubai to complete a pile of paperwork and tests that I don’t even want to go into, to renew another contract. Come Jan 2008 and I will complete 6 years with EK! Gosh again! I am feeling old.
Hopefully I will find some time to update more of recent events, especially sharing afterthoughts, if not at least let some pictures do the talking for me, of the wedding I attended and Phuket…
I do have lots to say and share, especially to those friends that I miss in the last 2 months…allow me to reconnect, slowly but surely.
Saturday, 1 December 2007
Sunday, 23 September 2007
Shannon and Ayden
Michelle and Lionel welcomed their 1st bundle of joy Shannon Lin XueWen on sep 1st, weighing 3.24kg and measuring 51cm long.
Natalie and Jeff also welcomed their second prince Ayden on sep 18.
My heartfelt congratulations to these proud parents I also call my friends!
I was fortunate to be in Singapore on 2nd sep and got to joy to meet Shannon, then barely 2 days old, at the hospital. I remember the moment I walked in and saw Michelle, I was overwhelmed with feelings of respect and awe for her and all that she went through to produce this little miracle. Perhaps this being the first time in my adult life that I have visited someone I know who just gave birth to a new life and embracing the role of a mother for the first time.
Natalie and Jeff also welcomed their second prince Ayden on sep 18.
My heartfelt congratulations to these proud parents I also call my friends!
I was fortunate to be in Singapore on 2nd sep and got to joy to meet Shannon, then barely 2 days old, at the hospital. I remember the moment I walked in and saw Michelle, I was overwhelmed with feelings of respect and awe for her and all that she went through to produce this little miracle. Perhaps this being the first time in my adult life that I have visited someone I know who just gave birth to a new life and embracing the role of a mother for the first time.
She looked exhausted, yet so beautiful and noble at the same time.
Waited a while before the baby was brought back in. She is so small, so red, so cute, so peaceful. I was offered to hold the baby, and got very excited even though I was a little jittery for fear of hurting her with my clumsiness. Lionel helped pick her up and transferred her to my arms. Her head is so soft I was worried I may leave marks or dents on her but I was reassured. She is a warm bundle, smelled good, and slept most of the time in my arms. There were a few moments when she may have gotten uncomfortable and her whole face will always turn to an alarming bright red with her little struggles, while I will panic and try to rock her back to sleep.
I realized that I could keep staring at her sleeping face and not get sick or bored or tired, and she is not my baby…I try to imagine how much much more Lionel and Michelle will feel…and another wave of overwhelm hits.
I did not get to see Ayden yet though I received a picture of him on my phone. He weighed a hefty 3.57kg and is an impressive 55cm long!! He resembled so much like Nat for now, as I am told babies’ features change rapidly. He is cute as a button too.
I will miss Shannon’s 1st month celebration on the 29th, and will probably miss out on Ayden’s too. But I can’t wait to see them next and see how much they have grown!
I did not get to see Ayden yet though I received a picture of him on my phone. He weighed a hefty 3.57kg and is an impressive 55cm long!! He resembled so much like Nat for now, as I am told babies’ features change rapidly. He is cute as a button too.
I will miss Shannon’s 1st month celebration on the 29th, and will probably miss out on Ayden’s too. But I can’t wait to see them next and see how much they have grown!
Crew conflict
Just back from another whopper 9-day trip to Singapore, Brisbane and auckland, the longest trip pattern we have, when good crew are absolutely essential to maintain sanity and motivation. I have to say all the crew are super nice, with the exception of 2 (out of 16) which so happen to be working in the same cabin as me. I have flown with both of them before on separate flights with a not-so-good residual impression. Let’s call them crew A and crew B. A and B also flown with each other before and made it pretty clear that they do not enjoy mutual presence.
A has been with EK from the start which equates to roughly 20 years. He loves being THE boss and made sure you know he is THE boss. B is just a generally hard person to tackle, bitchy too. To add icing on the cake, both of them are fasting muslims in compliance to the holy month of Ramadan, thus they are hungry, thirsty and sluggish half the time. A and B are similar in many ways. While some say 2 birds of the same flock together, they are more tending to two like poles constantly repelling each other. They resented each other from the start, and these feelings could only get worse and snowball with each passing day.
They are also experts in verbal war and sarcasm in their own league. I could not help but marvel in the midst of own exasperation how they manage to constantly haul insults at each other in all smiles, charm and calm. They even make coffee for each other and did stretches in the galley together! Instead of trying to avoid each other’s path to minimize friction, they love maximizing contact while carrying own potion of venom to attack at every chance.
The worst thing is, I felt victimized by it all. You see, A will bitch to me about B when she is away and B will bitch to me about A when he is away. Somehow I must have this face that says “complain to me, dump all your grievances on me”. I am stuck between the two of them, trying to maintain a neutral stance and getting sick of hearing all the bad things each have to say about the other.
On one particular occasion, B came storming into the galley. “Do you know what A just said to me?”
“what…?”, I responded half-heartedly and with dread.
“He says that if I keep eating like I do, I will soon have problems fitting between the aisles! How rude is that?! He is not skinny himself! How dare he…hmmmpphh!”
“Perhaps you can tell him it’s ok as long as your husband likes the way you are…”, came a weak response from me since she is married.
“I already said that! I am happy with the way I am and I enjoy my food and life.”
Suddenly, in came A out of nowhere.
“Oh, here you are! I was just telling Sharon what you said to me about my weight,” B coos with a broad smile on her face, while mine is getting ashen, my eyeballs popping and fighting to stay in the sockets.
#@*##^!!! I am suddenly involuntarily involved and in the middle of the war zone. It is one thing to listen to each of them complaining separately, and totally another to be caught in the middle of a cross-fire.
“Yes yes yes, you should not eat so much like I said before, “ A retorted without the slightest flinch, and with all smiles of course.
The next 30 seconds of verbal battle is all but a hazy memory coz my mind decided to shut them out. Then, I was disrupted when B proceeded to pick up a piece of sweet from the petit fours platter on the galley top, waved it deliberately in front of A before putting it into her mouth along with face and sound effects of satisfaction. Why on earth is she further aggravating him??? Realizing there is no way of diffusing the situation and refusing to stay and be a witness to two silly and immature egos fighting, I excused myself lamely and ran to business class to seek refuge.
The rest of the crew were more unfazed by the ongoing conflict between them two. Although they were all aware of the tension, they don’t need to bear the brunt of it all like me since they don’t get the bombardment of complaints that seemed to only flow toward me. We are all adults, there has to be a better way of addressing and resolving issues apart of childish and petty tactics. Don’t they get tired of all the constant bickering? I am mentally tortured and exhausted, and I am not even the one having conflicts.
My only comfort and relief is Singapore.
At least they did not engage in physical fights using fists or our very heavy and deadly silver trays like some other stories I heard. The most shocking one so far involved one passenger literally tossing his own pile of shit into another passenger’s face! You must know that before he can do that he must go to the lavatory and pick up his own shit into his own hands…what a remotely disgusting act! I try to blame that on oxygen-deprived brains messing with the mind and being stuck in 35,000 feet in a metal tube full of people. It propels strange and extreme behaviour from people somehow. But that is another topic of discussion.
Just glad that the trip is over. I am now praying that there will be no major crew conflict in my next trip in two days, which is the second longest trip we have that spans 8 days. Wish me luck.
A has been with EK from the start which equates to roughly 20 years. He loves being THE boss and made sure you know he is THE boss. B is just a generally hard person to tackle, bitchy too. To add icing on the cake, both of them are fasting muslims in compliance to the holy month of Ramadan, thus they are hungry, thirsty and sluggish half the time. A and B are similar in many ways. While some say 2 birds of the same flock together, they are more tending to two like poles constantly repelling each other. They resented each other from the start, and these feelings could only get worse and snowball with each passing day.
They are also experts in verbal war and sarcasm in their own league. I could not help but marvel in the midst of own exasperation how they manage to constantly haul insults at each other in all smiles, charm and calm. They even make coffee for each other and did stretches in the galley together! Instead of trying to avoid each other’s path to minimize friction, they love maximizing contact while carrying own potion of venom to attack at every chance.
The worst thing is, I felt victimized by it all. You see, A will bitch to me about B when she is away and B will bitch to me about A when he is away. Somehow I must have this face that says “complain to me, dump all your grievances on me”. I am stuck between the two of them, trying to maintain a neutral stance and getting sick of hearing all the bad things each have to say about the other.
On one particular occasion, B came storming into the galley. “Do you know what A just said to me?”
“what…?”, I responded half-heartedly and with dread.
“He says that if I keep eating like I do, I will soon have problems fitting between the aisles! How rude is that?! He is not skinny himself! How dare he…hmmmpphh!”
“Perhaps you can tell him it’s ok as long as your husband likes the way you are…”, came a weak response from me since she is married.
“I already said that! I am happy with the way I am and I enjoy my food and life.”
Suddenly, in came A out of nowhere.
“Oh, here you are! I was just telling Sharon what you said to me about my weight,” B coos with a broad smile on her face, while mine is getting ashen, my eyeballs popping and fighting to stay in the sockets.
#@*##^!!! I am suddenly involuntarily involved and in the middle of the war zone. It is one thing to listen to each of them complaining separately, and totally another to be caught in the middle of a cross-fire.
“Yes yes yes, you should not eat so much like I said before, “ A retorted without the slightest flinch, and with all smiles of course.
The next 30 seconds of verbal battle is all but a hazy memory coz my mind decided to shut them out. Then, I was disrupted when B proceeded to pick up a piece of sweet from the petit fours platter on the galley top, waved it deliberately in front of A before putting it into her mouth along with face and sound effects of satisfaction. Why on earth is she further aggravating him??? Realizing there is no way of diffusing the situation and refusing to stay and be a witness to two silly and immature egos fighting, I excused myself lamely and ran to business class to seek refuge.
The rest of the crew were more unfazed by the ongoing conflict between them two. Although they were all aware of the tension, they don’t need to bear the brunt of it all like me since they don’t get the bombardment of complaints that seemed to only flow toward me. We are all adults, there has to be a better way of addressing and resolving issues apart of childish and petty tactics. Don’t they get tired of all the constant bickering? I am mentally tortured and exhausted, and I am not even the one having conflicts.
My only comfort and relief is Singapore.
At least they did not engage in physical fights using fists or our very heavy and deadly silver trays like some other stories I heard. The most shocking one so far involved one passenger literally tossing his own pile of shit into another passenger’s face! You must know that before he can do that he must go to the lavatory and pick up his own shit into his own hands…what a remotely disgusting act! I try to blame that on oxygen-deprived brains messing with the mind and being stuck in 35,000 feet in a metal tube full of people. It propels strange and extreme behaviour from people somehow. But that is another topic of discussion.
Just glad that the trip is over. I am now praying that there will be no major crew conflict in my next trip in two days, which is the second longest trip we have that spans 8 days. Wish me luck.
Thursday, 13 September 2007
In-flight episode
Had a senile 70 year old lady with us on flight the other day.
She got into panic mode mid flight and I was assigned to sit with her for landing since I don’t have a door.
Talking to her during that short 25 minutes before landing, I have come to learn that she was on the way home to Australia after a 6-week vacation which she just can’t recall where at first and thus got rather frustrated with herself. Tried asking her about her previous connecting flights to trigger her memory bit by bit and came to realize that she had travelled to the UK for her holidays while visiting some relatives.
She was traveling all alone.
She had no children or family to pick her up from the airport when she arrived back home after a grueling trip.
She regretted choosing not to have children, but it is all too late.
She is so vulnerable, fragile, confused.
At one stage, she asked me where she was. Then she asked me if we were on a helicopter. A few minutes later, she asked if she was on a ship. She also attempted to get up a few times to get her hand luggage while the aircraft is still descending, thinking she could get off. Time and again, I tried my best to sit her down while answering a sea of questions in natural and unfound patience that will be non-existent if dealing with a normal passenger. I kept her talking in a bid to distract her and lessen her anxiety and confusion probably caused by the long journey. She had done well getting this far considering, and I do not want her last half an hour from home to be worse than it already had been. I asked her questions about her vacation, and started holding her hand. It helped to reassure and soothe, and she settled down for a while, before getting upset again about not knowing where she was and where she was going.
I saw the helplessness in her eyes, a pair of eyes so lost, and frightened. She touched my heart, and I feel for her, not for pain or misery, just helplessness. Yet knowing there is no one at the airport to pick her up, to give her a kiss and hug welcome home made it more painful for me like she is an unknowing and oblivious victim of her predicament due to her delicate state of mind. I could feel tears starting to well up, but I just have to keep smiling, for her. I was overwhelmed with feeling so much for a stranger whom I barely met for 30 minutes.
She was the last passenger to get off, and the airport medics came onboard to escort her out. She was still confused and frustrated for not knowing or understanding what was happening. She was still unaware from time to time that she is home, and now looked to me for the next thing, to explain what was about to come, for some form of direction.
She thanked me before she left, and I saw the genuine gratefulness in that same pair of eyes that are still lost, and felt touched by her gratefulness.
Still, no one is picking her up…I really wanted to send her home to her doorstep, but I know it was beyond my call. She was all I can think of during the journey to the hotel, until I crashed into slumberland.
Wherever she is now, I wish her well from deep down my heart.
She got into panic mode mid flight and I was assigned to sit with her for landing since I don’t have a door.
Talking to her during that short 25 minutes before landing, I have come to learn that she was on the way home to Australia after a 6-week vacation which she just can’t recall where at first and thus got rather frustrated with herself. Tried asking her about her previous connecting flights to trigger her memory bit by bit and came to realize that she had travelled to the UK for her holidays while visiting some relatives.
She was traveling all alone.
She had no children or family to pick her up from the airport when she arrived back home after a grueling trip.
She regretted choosing not to have children, but it is all too late.
She is so vulnerable, fragile, confused.
At one stage, she asked me where she was. Then she asked me if we were on a helicopter. A few minutes later, she asked if she was on a ship. She also attempted to get up a few times to get her hand luggage while the aircraft is still descending, thinking she could get off. Time and again, I tried my best to sit her down while answering a sea of questions in natural and unfound patience that will be non-existent if dealing with a normal passenger. I kept her talking in a bid to distract her and lessen her anxiety and confusion probably caused by the long journey. She had done well getting this far considering, and I do not want her last half an hour from home to be worse than it already had been. I asked her questions about her vacation, and started holding her hand. It helped to reassure and soothe, and she settled down for a while, before getting upset again about not knowing where she was and where she was going.
I saw the helplessness in her eyes, a pair of eyes so lost, and frightened. She touched my heart, and I feel for her, not for pain or misery, just helplessness. Yet knowing there is no one at the airport to pick her up, to give her a kiss and hug welcome home made it more painful for me like she is an unknowing and oblivious victim of her predicament due to her delicate state of mind. I could feel tears starting to well up, but I just have to keep smiling, for her. I was overwhelmed with feeling so much for a stranger whom I barely met for 30 minutes.
She was the last passenger to get off, and the airport medics came onboard to escort her out. She was still confused and frustrated for not knowing or understanding what was happening. She was still unaware from time to time that she is home, and now looked to me for the next thing, to explain what was about to come, for some form of direction.
She thanked me before she left, and I saw the genuine gratefulness in that same pair of eyes that are still lost, and felt touched by her gratefulness.
Still, no one is picking her up…I really wanted to send her home to her doorstep, but I know it was beyond my call. She was all I can think of during the journey to the hotel, until I crashed into slumberland.
Wherever she is now, I wish her well from deep down my heart.
Friday, 31 August 2007
Realization, for mummy
Came across this article about a woman lamenting about old age, and how her children are becoming more thoughtful of her, therefore ceased going to her with their perplexities. This made her pretty sad, though she understood their well intentions. Not that she had “failed”, but because they felt that the time has come when she ought to be “spared” of every possible worry. Yet she felt as if it’s a conspiracy of silence against her.
She seemed not to really like that at all. Then I thought about how I don’t tell my mum things for fear of her worrying for me. She has enough worries on her plate as it is with the fact that I am away from home. But as my mother, she has the innate and natural capability to sense things just from the tone of my voice during our phone conversations. She can especially tell if I am sick, unhappy, or stressed from just a ‘hello’, and will then offer words of comfort and care in her subtle style without me saying anything else, or demand I tell her what is wrong if I refuse to talk about it, leave me in my own time to be ready. More than often, that will make me feel worse and better at the same time while trying to gag my tears away, afraid she will be more sad than I already caused her.
My brother and I did not live with our parents till I am 13 and old enough to take care of ourselves due to the nature of their work, as their working hours are virtually from 9am till midnight daily. They have toiled to provide the best for us both. And since I was a teenager after my rebellious phase, I have developed the habit for not wanting to burden them with my woes. Perhaps as if trying to display a sign of independence, or ‘attempted independence’. However, lately I have been thinking perhaps it’s more of just own selfish and one-sided thinking that doing that is ‘best’ for mum and is what she wants, and reading that article kind of reinforced my doubts.
I tried to put myself in her shoes – do I want my child to be hiding their woes from me? The answer is no, not really at all. I will want to be of some help at least, even if it’s just providing a listening ear. I will not expect my child to spill all her secrets to a parent (that is more like a role of best friends, yet there are stuff even best friends don’t know at times…), I just want them to know that I will always be there for them, like what mum is trying to say to me, that I can tell her anything I want and things are better said out than kept in…
Mummy, I do understand your well intentions. I want to tell you that I shall try ok, to share more stuff with you and not just limit to the happy ones. Other than our inevitable generation gaps between us, I do not want you to feel more isolated than necessary. : )
She seemed not to really like that at all. Then I thought about how I don’t tell my mum things for fear of her worrying for me. She has enough worries on her plate as it is with the fact that I am away from home. But as my mother, she has the innate and natural capability to sense things just from the tone of my voice during our phone conversations. She can especially tell if I am sick, unhappy, or stressed from just a ‘hello’, and will then offer words of comfort and care in her subtle style without me saying anything else, or demand I tell her what is wrong if I refuse to talk about it, leave me in my own time to be ready. More than often, that will make me feel worse and better at the same time while trying to gag my tears away, afraid she will be more sad than I already caused her.
My brother and I did not live with our parents till I am 13 and old enough to take care of ourselves due to the nature of their work, as their working hours are virtually from 9am till midnight daily. They have toiled to provide the best for us both. And since I was a teenager after my rebellious phase, I have developed the habit for not wanting to burden them with my woes. Perhaps as if trying to display a sign of independence, or ‘attempted independence’. However, lately I have been thinking perhaps it’s more of just own selfish and one-sided thinking that doing that is ‘best’ for mum and is what she wants, and reading that article kind of reinforced my doubts.
I tried to put myself in her shoes – do I want my child to be hiding their woes from me? The answer is no, not really at all. I will want to be of some help at least, even if it’s just providing a listening ear. I will not expect my child to spill all her secrets to a parent (that is more like a role of best friends, yet there are stuff even best friends don’t know at times…), I just want them to know that I will always be there for them, like what mum is trying to say to me, that I can tell her anything I want and things are better said out than kept in…
Mummy, I do understand your well intentions. I want to tell you that I shall try ok, to share more stuff with you and not just limit to the happy ones. Other than our inevitable generation gaps between us, I do not want you to feel more isolated than necessary. : )
Lost
Sorry have not been writing as much as I had wanted to, as if I was lost. Just got all the long trips and now fighting a stubborn cold that won’t go away.
Incidentally, also finished getting lost with lost season 3.
Got me pondering about the concept of lost. Won’t discuss about the series, that will be a critique’s job and reminds me of practical criticism class for literature and fiction in school which I am happy to discuss but may bore to death those who don’t chase the series, also coz that is not the point but more so how it provoked me into the chain of thoughts that follow.
Questioning purpose in life...
Not always been a clear minded gal with distinct goals and directions, maybe that’s why I like lost?
Wonder if a day will come where I don’t feel lost or aimless. Tend to get that more when I am in dubai. Then I thought, how easy it is to get yourself lost in this unique environment and make-up in middle-east’s la la land. I salute those people I met who are singly driven and focused to be here to earn a certain amount of money, be it to clear debts or pay for a house or education, in the shortest time possible(of which they have no life, just coop at home or in hotels), and leave. No hesitation, never wavered…as for me, I came to dubai to see the world, experience living overseas, and wanted to save money. 5.5 years down the road, it seems that I indulged too much in the 1st two and failed miserably with saving. I do not want to lose that goal.
Then I wonder if some people spend their entire lives lost, with or without knowing it.
We all get lost in different things and situations from time to time. It’s like a procedure we must go through before we can attain purpose, enlightenment, answers, resolution, absolution. We often get lost coz we all have our own demons to fight, to change.
Is it bad to be lost, easier to stay lost like opting for an easier and more selfish way of life?
How do you get out of being lost? Is it something that, like some emotional baggage, you have to do it yourself while others can only help you to a certain extent.
There are times when I am frustrated with self at how lost I am in this life of mine and wasting it away and want to get out yet don’t know how. That is in the bigger and deeper sense of things. I am afraid sometimes that staying lost will become a comfort zone hard to get out of and be an excuse to things. The bizarre thing is I can’t fathom how can one be comfy in ‘lost-mode’? But as experience speaks, you jolly well can! Perhaps that is when I am escaping from issues and things…or am I just a spoilt, protected and lazy human at the end of the day. In a world full of arrows to tell u where is what, guidelines, and self-help books, all do not guarantee us not getting lost. Getting answers and directions does not lead you out from the maze all the time…but I do wish life is as simple as that.
To side-track a little, I am also a naturally blur-block and gladly accepts without a single ounce of offence, of recent nominations that I am most likely to walk into a pole. Haa! I have friends who have to literally jump in front of me to get my attention though they are in my direct line of vision and I just can’t see walking down streets or in malls. Yes I suck at situational awareness, just glad that does not happen all the time.
Is it true that some people are meant to do bigger things while others are meant to blend happily into oblivion?
But to me, it is perfectly fine to lead a small and anonymous life as long as you are happy.
To me, it is important to do the right thing, and that sometimes mean doing something you don’t like or may cause you sadness or sacrifice. I think being lost does not necessarily rob us of our ability to know what is right and wrong.
To me, you can be lost, but just don’t lose faith. Good thing faith comes in many forms to accommodate us all. We can find faith through diverse channels in everyday life from religion, food, words, books, TV, music, the list goes on. Once you lose faith, hope goes away and the end will be inevitable. Sometimes we think we lost it all but let me tell you, faith has a way of surviving and laying dormant in you in the most extreme of adversities. As badly bruised and hurt we may get in the daily wrestles with life, we must always leave an opening, no matter how small, to let things/people/feelings back in. We can build defensive walls to help us heal but they should be taken down when no longer required. Can’t keep accumulating walls, else we will be alone, and lost.
Am I less lost now after writing. A little I guess…that is sort the aim I suppose…voicing thoughts out loud hoping to make some sense to things.
Perhaps a feeble attempt to clear the mind which could still be tainted from watching lost, some residual effect? I don’t know. See! Already slipping back to own lost world…
One thing I know though, is that through all the lost-ness I experienced, I have found and realized things that I hold on dear to. I will never be immune to getting lost I guess, just hope that I will get to emerge wiser sometimes.
One answer always leads to another question.
Incidentally, also finished getting lost with lost season 3.
Got me pondering about the concept of lost. Won’t discuss about the series, that will be a critique’s job and reminds me of practical criticism class for literature and fiction in school which I am happy to discuss but may bore to death those who don’t chase the series, also coz that is not the point but more so how it provoked me into the chain of thoughts that follow.
Questioning purpose in life...
Not always been a clear minded gal with distinct goals and directions, maybe that’s why I like lost?
Wonder if a day will come where I don’t feel lost or aimless. Tend to get that more when I am in dubai. Then I thought, how easy it is to get yourself lost in this unique environment and make-up in middle-east’s la la land. I salute those people I met who are singly driven and focused to be here to earn a certain amount of money, be it to clear debts or pay for a house or education, in the shortest time possible(of which they have no life, just coop at home or in hotels), and leave. No hesitation, never wavered…as for me, I came to dubai to see the world, experience living overseas, and wanted to save money. 5.5 years down the road, it seems that I indulged too much in the 1st two and failed miserably with saving. I do not want to lose that goal.
Then I wonder if some people spend their entire lives lost, with or without knowing it.
We all get lost in different things and situations from time to time. It’s like a procedure we must go through before we can attain purpose, enlightenment, answers, resolution, absolution. We often get lost coz we all have our own demons to fight, to change.
Is it bad to be lost, easier to stay lost like opting for an easier and more selfish way of life?
How do you get out of being lost? Is it something that, like some emotional baggage, you have to do it yourself while others can only help you to a certain extent.
There are times when I am frustrated with self at how lost I am in this life of mine and wasting it away and want to get out yet don’t know how. That is in the bigger and deeper sense of things. I am afraid sometimes that staying lost will become a comfort zone hard to get out of and be an excuse to things. The bizarre thing is I can’t fathom how can one be comfy in ‘lost-mode’? But as experience speaks, you jolly well can! Perhaps that is when I am escaping from issues and things…or am I just a spoilt, protected and lazy human at the end of the day. In a world full of arrows to tell u where is what, guidelines, and self-help books, all do not guarantee us not getting lost. Getting answers and directions does not lead you out from the maze all the time…but I do wish life is as simple as that.
To side-track a little, I am also a naturally blur-block and gladly accepts without a single ounce of offence, of recent nominations that I am most likely to walk into a pole. Haa! I have friends who have to literally jump in front of me to get my attention though they are in my direct line of vision and I just can’t see walking down streets or in malls. Yes I suck at situational awareness, just glad that does not happen all the time.
Is it true that some people are meant to do bigger things while others are meant to blend happily into oblivion?
But to me, it is perfectly fine to lead a small and anonymous life as long as you are happy.
To me, it is important to do the right thing, and that sometimes mean doing something you don’t like or may cause you sadness or sacrifice. I think being lost does not necessarily rob us of our ability to know what is right and wrong.
To me, you can be lost, but just don’t lose faith. Good thing faith comes in many forms to accommodate us all. We can find faith through diverse channels in everyday life from religion, food, words, books, TV, music, the list goes on. Once you lose faith, hope goes away and the end will be inevitable. Sometimes we think we lost it all but let me tell you, faith has a way of surviving and laying dormant in you in the most extreme of adversities. As badly bruised and hurt we may get in the daily wrestles with life, we must always leave an opening, no matter how small, to let things/people/feelings back in. We can build defensive walls to help us heal but they should be taken down when no longer required. Can’t keep accumulating walls, else we will be alone, and lost.
Am I less lost now after writing. A little I guess…that is sort the aim I suppose…voicing thoughts out loud hoping to make some sense to things.
Perhaps a feeble attempt to clear the mind which could still be tainted from watching lost, some residual effect? I don’t know. See! Already slipping back to own lost world…
One thing I know though, is that through all the lost-ness I experienced, I have found and realized things that I hold on dear to. I will never be immune to getting lost I guess, just hope that I will get to emerge wiser sometimes.
One answer always leads to another question.
Saturday, 11 August 2007
Back from sin flight
I thought I know love, but love always taught me better…dunno why am harping around those thoughts…just feeling so washed out suddenly.
Just back from sin trip, brain-dead, body-dead, yet can’t seem to sleep, am instead hoping to sort out messy thoughts through writing.
Perhaps just melancholic after a trip home, where warmth and love are in abundance. The air-con in my apartment…too robust as usual, and the cold creeps into you insidiously, still managing a strike every time no matter how prepared, fleece, blankets and all.
Have many things that I like to do, read, watch, and friends to meet, yet can’t muster any strength, except do my laundry, and pack away all the stuff and food I have brought back from sin, and sort of scatter those little bits of warmth around me for as long as they does. It’s not that I do not appreciate my own little turf here in dubai, or the silence and peace after a night’s work. Just passing through a moment of clarity tending toward the darkness coz the mind is too disillusioned from fatigue. Perhaps more like passing through a moment of blur that seemed clear.
Figured that only means I really need to catch up on my sleep, and see how I feel after that. Nothing to worry about I tell myself, just worry about going to sleep and get some much needed rest before thinking of anything else. If those low feelings still linger after I wake, then perhaps I should start worrying a little more. And sleep I did after putting mind at ease. Must have nodded off instantly. Woke up in time for a little daylight left which does help to lessen any further disorientation after these 9-day trips, age must be catching up slowly but surely. Realized I am taking longer to recuperate from the long trips, but I did stretched myself out flat in the last 24 hours as time is too precious and never enough in sin. Cooked myself something to eat and decided to put pulp fiction on while chomping down pandan cake from bengawan solo. Haven’t watched that classic for a while, and it is still as great as I remembered. Those low feelings have mostly dispersed by then, which is a relief. But the sleepy bug is still leeching on until it has had its fill of zzzzs, so I am going to try to satiate that now.
Just back from sin trip, brain-dead, body-dead, yet can’t seem to sleep, am instead hoping to sort out messy thoughts through writing.
Perhaps just melancholic after a trip home, where warmth and love are in abundance. The air-con in my apartment…too robust as usual, and the cold creeps into you insidiously, still managing a strike every time no matter how prepared, fleece, blankets and all.
Have many things that I like to do, read, watch, and friends to meet, yet can’t muster any strength, except do my laundry, and pack away all the stuff and food I have brought back from sin, and sort of scatter those little bits of warmth around me for as long as they does. It’s not that I do not appreciate my own little turf here in dubai, or the silence and peace after a night’s work. Just passing through a moment of clarity tending toward the darkness coz the mind is too disillusioned from fatigue. Perhaps more like passing through a moment of blur that seemed clear.
Figured that only means I really need to catch up on my sleep, and see how I feel after that. Nothing to worry about I tell myself, just worry about going to sleep and get some much needed rest before thinking of anything else. If those low feelings still linger after I wake, then perhaps I should start worrying a little more. And sleep I did after putting mind at ease. Must have nodded off instantly. Woke up in time for a little daylight left which does help to lessen any further disorientation after these 9-day trips, age must be catching up slowly but surely. Realized I am taking longer to recuperate from the long trips, but I did stretched myself out flat in the last 24 hours as time is too precious and never enough in sin. Cooked myself something to eat and decided to put pulp fiction on while chomping down pandan cake from bengawan solo. Haven’t watched that classic for a while, and it is still as great as I remembered. Those low feelings have mostly dispersed by then, which is a relief. But the sleepy bug is still leeching on until it has had its fill of zzzzs, so I am going to try to satiate that now.
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Are you smarter than a fifth-grader?
This is an American game show that I came across during one of my layovers. It is a bit like who wants to be a millionaire, complete with 3 life-lines namely copy (copy fellow 5th grader answer), peek (on answer of a 5th grader u choose from) and save (like a get out of jail card for wrong answer). You have 5 5th graders on the podium to help you go through all the 10 questions (2 questions each), and answering them all correctly will win you a million bucks.
Sounds easy? You would think so. I thought so.
There was just this one question that stumped me though: Earth is more than 50 million miles away from the sun. True or false? Being a rather avid national geography reader and my constant interest in astronomy since young, I was ashamed to say that I was uncertain of the answer. My inclination was toward true and I was lucky to be right. But what surprised me is that this question is catagorised as a 3rd grade astronomy question. Kids nowadays are really learning much more compared to us since I do not remember having to learn this when I was 9 years old. Perhaps standards in the U.S. are different too.
There are some really good kids they employed for the show. In my personal point of view, they might as well let the kids compete and leave the grown-ups out of this altogether. Some of the most entertaining and amusing parts come from when the adults are looking so stressed up from the questions (and they are really not that difficult), and the sheer ecstasy and relief when they answered correctly. This is even when they get to choose the categories spanning different subjects and grades, with the maximum difficulty of 5th grade.
There is this adult who can’t answer “what is ½ of the area of a 12-inch square” – that to me is bad! He had to use the copy life line to answer that, and walked away with $25,000 anyway after another question stumped him and he’s got no more life lines to help him. He then proceeded to propose to his girlfriend after the win, to which she said yes of course. God bless them, but all these American drama entertainment…could be genuinely a coincidence for me to stumble upon the proposal, but another part of it seemed so rehearsed and plotted.
Wondered what the point of the show was – to prove that most of us aren’t as smart as we think we are? Or just another idea to catch some viewership from the wide array of television networks available in the States…?? Would you feel proud to have won the game show? Perhaps it’s the cash prize that matters at the end of the day. It is after all pretty generous compared to the questions you have to answer that were doled out from “who wants to be a millionaire” for sure…maybe to compensate for comparing yourself to a 5th grader?
Sounds easy? You would think so. I thought so.
There was just this one question that stumped me though: Earth is more than 50 million miles away from the sun. True or false? Being a rather avid national geography reader and my constant interest in astronomy since young, I was ashamed to say that I was uncertain of the answer. My inclination was toward true and I was lucky to be right. But what surprised me is that this question is catagorised as a 3rd grade astronomy question. Kids nowadays are really learning much more compared to us since I do not remember having to learn this when I was 9 years old. Perhaps standards in the U.S. are different too.
There are some really good kids they employed for the show. In my personal point of view, they might as well let the kids compete and leave the grown-ups out of this altogether. Some of the most entertaining and amusing parts come from when the adults are looking so stressed up from the questions (and they are really not that difficult), and the sheer ecstasy and relief when they answered correctly. This is even when they get to choose the categories spanning different subjects and grades, with the maximum difficulty of 5th grade.
There is this adult who can’t answer “what is ½ of the area of a 12-inch square” – that to me is bad! He had to use the copy life line to answer that, and walked away with $25,000 anyway after another question stumped him and he’s got no more life lines to help him. He then proceeded to propose to his girlfriend after the win, to which she said yes of course. God bless them, but all these American drama entertainment…could be genuinely a coincidence for me to stumble upon the proposal, but another part of it seemed so rehearsed and plotted.
Wondered what the point of the show was – to prove that most of us aren’t as smart as we think we are? Or just another idea to catch some viewership from the wide array of television networks available in the States…?? Would you feel proud to have won the game show? Perhaps it’s the cash prize that matters at the end of the day. It is after all pretty generous compared to the questions you have to answer that were doled out from “who wants to be a millionaire” for sure…maybe to compensate for comparing yourself to a 5th grader?
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
News Flash
On my latest trip to Sydney and Christchurch, I caught up with quite a bit that is happening around the world as well as some news that caught my attention.
This was further enhanced in Christchurch as I was woken up at 2am by a rowdy and drunken bunch who so happen to all congregate in the room next door, singing, talking, laughing while I had the pleasure to be part of it all courtesy of the paper thin walls.
I gave up trying to go back to sleep after enduring half an hour of the commotion and calling the reception proved fruitless. Started flipping through the papers to pass time while listening to music videos on TV.
Read about all the floods that are going on in the UK (their worst in 61 years), China, Indonesia, and Bangladesh, while heat waves and forest fires are killing and torturing people in Hungary and Greece. Down here in Australia, they are experiencing the coldest winter in 21 years, and Christchurch had a record -12 deg Celsius this winter too. All these news just make me feel that our earth is really getting sick, with natural disasters getting bigger in scale and all these ongoing erratic weather. Reminds me of this movie “An inconvenient truth” starring Al Gore that I recommend all to watch – it is not as boring as you think, and you will emerge knowing more than you asked for, but in a good way I promise. If all of us contribute to little gestures like having your own grocery bags (I think Germany is pretty good at enforcing that coz they charge you for every plastic bag you use. Learnt that during my 1st trip to Germany 5 years ago when I was wondering why my stuff are not put in bags, then I looked around and saw that most of the people have their own grocery bags. Had to ask the cashier for one without knowing I had to pay for it, was pretty embarrassing), the world may just breathe easier for our future generations. Part of me may be curious about experiencing the ice age, but on second thoughts, better not to be too curious about these things.
This was further enhanced in Christchurch as I was woken up at 2am by a rowdy and drunken bunch who so happen to all congregate in the room next door, singing, talking, laughing while I had the pleasure to be part of it all courtesy of the paper thin walls.
I gave up trying to go back to sleep after enduring half an hour of the commotion and calling the reception proved fruitless. Started flipping through the papers to pass time while listening to music videos on TV.
Read about all the floods that are going on in the UK (their worst in 61 years), China, Indonesia, and Bangladesh, while heat waves and forest fires are killing and torturing people in Hungary and Greece. Down here in Australia, they are experiencing the coldest winter in 21 years, and Christchurch had a record -12 deg Celsius this winter too. All these news just make me feel that our earth is really getting sick, with natural disasters getting bigger in scale and all these ongoing erratic weather. Reminds me of this movie “An inconvenient truth” starring Al Gore that I recommend all to watch – it is not as boring as you think, and you will emerge knowing more than you asked for, but in a good way I promise. If all of us contribute to little gestures like having your own grocery bags (I think Germany is pretty good at enforcing that coz they charge you for every plastic bag you use. Learnt that during my 1st trip to Germany 5 years ago when I was wondering why my stuff are not put in bags, then I looked around and saw that most of the people have their own grocery bags. Had to ask the cashier for one without knowing I had to pay for it, was pretty embarrassing), the world may just breathe easier for our future generations. Part of me may be curious about experiencing the ice age, but on second thoughts, better not to be too curious about these things.
The city of Paris is also doing her bid to promote a green world, setting up more than 1400 stations with over 20000 bicycles available for loan. This way, you can keep fit and save the earth with less carbon emissions while commuting around the city.
Next up, dubai is in the talks of buying over Auckland international airport for NZ$2.6billion, and turning it to a regional hub for emirates’ expansion to the U.S. This caught my eye for the obvious reason, since I am working for the company.
Next up, dubai is in the talks of buying over Auckland international airport for NZ$2.6billion, and turning it to a regional hub for emirates’ expansion to the U.S. This caught my eye for the obvious reason, since I am working for the company.
It is no wonder so many people are killing and warring over where the oil is...dubai do not export much oil compared to their regional counterparts yet is already making enough money to be buying airports. Just last year, dubai also bought out the CIAS catering in Singapore. Well, at least they have the foresight to realize that oil is going to run out soon, so they are focusing on tourism and exercising their weight in the aviation business. Good for them.
Harry Potter mania is seizing the world with the launch of the final book as well as latest movie on the previous book. J.K. Rowling is really something, becoming the 1st billion-book author ever. In the U.S. alone, the book sold 8.3million copies in 24 hours! Yes, there is something obsessive about these numbers! Perhaps I should start reading them.
Do you know that Coca-Cola has this new energy drink called Mother?? I have never seen it! Bizarre name if you ask me…no wonder the drink is suffering fledgling sales.
Singapore airlines are auctioning off the 480 seats online for their maiden airbus 380 flight from Singapore to Sydney. Pretty curious how the response will be like on this one…I mean, after all the hype (more negative than positive ones with several delays of the delivery date due to technical problems), are you that desperate to get on one? Maybe I am more skeptical coz I am in this job, but to me it’s just a really big plane, with more people cramping together with you in a metal flying tube, nothing too exciting about that if you ask me. But that is just me…
Harry Potter mania is seizing the world with the launch of the final book as well as latest movie on the previous book. J.K. Rowling is really something, becoming the 1st billion-book author ever. In the U.S. alone, the book sold 8.3million copies in 24 hours! Yes, there is something obsessive about these numbers! Perhaps I should start reading them.
Do you know that Coca-Cola has this new energy drink called Mother?? I have never seen it! Bizarre name if you ask me…no wonder the drink is suffering fledgling sales.
Singapore airlines are auctioning off the 480 seats online for their maiden airbus 380 flight from Singapore to Sydney. Pretty curious how the response will be like on this one…I mean, after all the hype (more negative than positive ones with several delays of the delivery date due to technical problems), are you that desperate to get on one? Maybe I am more skeptical coz I am in this job, but to me it’s just a really big plane, with more people cramping together with you in a metal flying tube, nothing too exciting about that if you ask me. But that is just me…
Enough talking for now. Must go feed myself. Nice steak waiting to be cooked...
Firsts
Had my fair share of many 1sts this year, mostly happening in the last 3 months.
1st 10km jog – the longest I have done yet, though it did include walking little bits of it. Still pretty proud of my little feat, plus cheap thrill of crossing that double digit barrier.
1st time to Nice, Athens, Shanghai (so far), hoping to add more to the list by year end.
1st experience of having eye-lash extensions done, and now finding myself in a new conundrum of whether I should continue doing that, or just embrace what is given to me.
1st time to break the asian conservative mental barrier and hugged mummy with all my might, and know after I shall not stop at just that one, though mum was rather taken aback by the sudden gesture…it is after all a breakthrough from our normal hand holdings and friendly pats. I am so glad that I did it though, what better person than mummy to be sharing and giving your hugs to right.
1st time owner of Hermes, Fendi, Marc Jacobs, Longchamp (that is with mummy now coz she likes it) within the same month…gosh…one of my most extravagant months, still slogging away to rid that credit card bill.
1st time I did something stupid that nearly cost my life, and then grateful to have learnt one of the most important lessons from the experience.
1st traffic accident in dubai, and I am all alone that day! Scared the living daylights out of me when another car slammed into the taxi door as I opened it to get out, and I swear I did not see that coming when I checked for cars behind!
Then I somehow began to recall past 1sts…1st step, 1st word, 1st fall, 1st day at school, 1st tooth that fell, 1st birthday party, 1st time to come in 1st in class, 1st period (that was scary and bewildering since grandma reacted so happily to that and started calling everyone), 1st swim, 1st kiss, 1st crush, 1st love, 1st love at first sight, 1st heartbreak, 1st paycheck, 1st vacation, 1st job overseas, 1st time I saw snow, the list seems endless. We all have our own set of firsts, and they are all different.
Dunno what prompted me to be counting 1sts…but at the end of the day I am glad to be still in that stage of amassing 1sts in life…knowing there are many more to come for sure…before having to start counting lasts…then I began to wonder if life is such that the firsts and lasts are always the most memorable, and everything in the middle tends to being a blur. Then I thought no…the firsts and lasts may have their significance and meaning, but the strongest memories are more than often from emotional extremities and the “mosts” - that nastiest fall you had…the most embarrassing moment you had to endure, best night out, best trip, best meal, most beautiful sunset, just to name a few, and all the extremely happy, sad, magical moments in your life.
Memories - such powerful things, giving meaning, support, and comfort to each and every one of our unique lives. There is always something to rejoice about or learn from them.
What is one fond memory that came to your mind right this moment? Take some time to soak it up and indulge…
1st 10km jog – the longest I have done yet, though it did include walking little bits of it. Still pretty proud of my little feat, plus cheap thrill of crossing that double digit barrier.
1st time to Nice, Athens, Shanghai (so far), hoping to add more to the list by year end.
1st experience of having eye-lash extensions done, and now finding myself in a new conundrum of whether I should continue doing that, or just embrace what is given to me.
1st time to break the asian conservative mental barrier and hugged mummy with all my might, and know after I shall not stop at just that one, though mum was rather taken aback by the sudden gesture…it is after all a breakthrough from our normal hand holdings and friendly pats. I am so glad that I did it though, what better person than mummy to be sharing and giving your hugs to right.
1st time owner of Hermes, Fendi, Marc Jacobs, Longchamp (that is with mummy now coz she likes it) within the same month…gosh…one of my most extravagant months, still slogging away to rid that credit card bill.
1st time I did something stupid that nearly cost my life, and then grateful to have learnt one of the most important lessons from the experience.
1st traffic accident in dubai, and I am all alone that day! Scared the living daylights out of me when another car slammed into the taxi door as I opened it to get out, and I swear I did not see that coming when I checked for cars behind!
Then I somehow began to recall past 1sts…1st step, 1st word, 1st fall, 1st day at school, 1st tooth that fell, 1st birthday party, 1st time to come in 1st in class, 1st period (that was scary and bewildering since grandma reacted so happily to that and started calling everyone), 1st swim, 1st kiss, 1st crush, 1st love, 1st love at first sight, 1st heartbreak, 1st paycheck, 1st vacation, 1st job overseas, 1st time I saw snow, the list seems endless. We all have our own set of firsts, and they are all different.
Dunno what prompted me to be counting 1sts…but at the end of the day I am glad to be still in that stage of amassing 1sts in life…knowing there are many more to come for sure…before having to start counting lasts…then I began to wonder if life is such that the firsts and lasts are always the most memorable, and everything in the middle tends to being a blur. Then I thought no…the firsts and lasts may have their significance and meaning, but the strongest memories are more than often from emotional extremities and the “mosts” - that nastiest fall you had…the most embarrassing moment you had to endure, best night out, best trip, best meal, most beautiful sunset, just to name a few, and all the extremely happy, sad, magical moments in your life.
Memories - such powerful things, giving meaning, support, and comfort to each and every one of our unique lives. There is always something to rejoice about or learn from them.
What is one fond memory that came to your mind right this moment? Take some time to soak it up and indulge…
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Shanghai
July 16th marks my 1st trip to Shanghai.
A cosmopolitan city compared to cultural Beijing and misty from the humid heat combined with pollution. As far as spitting/rudeness is concerned, it seems to fare marginally better than Beijing, though still bad I reckon! The public toilets, even at the high-end malls or restaurants are still unimaginably filthy and smelly according to Marilyn whom I went sight-seeing with, while I chose to persevere till back to own hotel room.
We saw the famous bund at night in the breeze and dazzling lights, noting the contrast of the old charming buildings against the skyscrapers and modern architecture on the other side. Could also hear the tasteless and “obiang” Chinese pop songs playing through loud speakers in the nearby landmark - pearl orient tower - which is adorned with glittering pseudo-disco lights at night. Decided not to go up the tower for the aerial view of the fast-growing city coz of the hazy weather, and the off-putting blaring music does not help too I guess. Was later rather shocked to discover the next morning that the tower is actually a rather unflattering pink and silver…hee…I may sound a tad too critical and biased here but you have to see it to understand.
A cosmopolitan city compared to cultural Beijing and misty from the humid heat combined with pollution. As far as spitting/rudeness is concerned, it seems to fare marginally better than Beijing, though still bad I reckon! The public toilets, even at the high-end malls or restaurants are still unimaginably filthy and smelly according to Marilyn whom I went sight-seeing with, while I chose to persevere till back to own hotel room.
We saw the famous bund at night in the breeze and dazzling lights, noting the contrast of the old charming buildings against the skyscrapers and modern architecture on the other side. Could also hear the tasteless and “obiang” Chinese pop songs playing through loud speakers in the nearby landmark - pearl orient tower - which is adorned with glittering pseudo-disco lights at night. Decided not to go up the tower for the aerial view of the fast-growing city coz of the hazy weather, and the off-putting blaring music does not help too I guess. Was later rather shocked to discover the next morning that the tower is actually a rather unflattering pink and silver…hee…I may sound a tad too critical and biased here but you have to see it to understand.
Pretty happy to chance by Din Tai Fung, a Taiwanese restaurant chain, before we head back. Stuffed ourselves full with soup, dumplings, rice, pork, greens, and dessert!
Woke up early next morning for more sight-seeing and shopping. I had a vain attack and decided to wear my pretty Marc Jacobs ballet pumps over my comfy and reliable leather sandals coz I thought the former matched better with my clothes. What a disastrous and idiotic call!! Two hours into scouring the streets near Nanjing road, I was limping into watsons looking for band-aids to soothe my burst blisters on my heels when already disheveled and sweaty from the blistering summer heat.
Then came my second vain attack while picking out what band-aids to get (dun even ask what’s gotten into me that day coz I really dunno!). I was going to pick out the normal band-aids when I spotted these Disney cartoon ones made by 3M. Pondered for a moment and decided 3M can’t be bad since they are known to stick right? Wrong! I spent four times the price getting these cutesy looking strips that are going to be concealed anyway, walked 50 metres to find them rubbing off and tearing apart. Absolutely no cushioning let alone protect my blisters from getting worse. I sighed and whined and apologized to Marilyn for slowing us down with these unnecessary hiccups, thinking if only I had listened to instinct and wore my leather sandals instead.
Exasperated with own goofy-ness and dopey-ness, and also can’t take the abrasions no more, I walked into the first shop I saw that sells shoes in hope of finding a pair of flip-flops. Eventually settled with this pair of sandals that did ease my agony for the rest of the day. Not the best looking ones I know but they are really comfortable, and I was desperate with the capital letter D.
Woke up early next morning for more sight-seeing and shopping. I had a vain attack and decided to wear my pretty Marc Jacobs ballet pumps over my comfy and reliable leather sandals coz I thought the former matched better with my clothes. What a disastrous and idiotic call!! Two hours into scouring the streets near Nanjing road, I was limping into watsons looking for band-aids to soothe my burst blisters on my heels when already disheveled and sweaty from the blistering summer heat.
Then came my second vain attack while picking out what band-aids to get (dun even ask what’s gotten into me that day coz I really dunno!). I was going to pick out the normal band-aids when I spotted these Disney cartoon ones made by 3M. Pondered for a moment and decided 3M can’t be bad since they are known to stick right? Wrong! I spent four times the price getting these cutesy looking strips that are going to be concealed anyway, walked 50 metres to find them rubbing off and tearing apart. Absolutely no cushioning let alone protect my blisters from getting worse. I sighed and whined and apologized to Marilyn for slowing us down with these unnecessary hiccups, thinking if only I had listened to instinct and wore my leather sandals instead.
Exasperated with own goofy-ness and dopey-ness, and also can’t take the abrasions no more, I walked into the first shop I saw that sells shoes in hope of finding a pair of flip-flops. Eventually settled with this pair of sandals that did ease my agony for the rest of the day. Not the best looking ones I know but they are really comfortable, and I was desperate with the capital letter D.
We also find ourselves constantly fighting off aggressive and so-in-your-face hassles chanting and nagging us to go to their nearby shops to look at all their fake guccis and pradas. These “scouts”, they could spot us a mile away and will immediately charge toward our direction, blocking our path and churning out all the brands they know in machine-gun speed. Now, this was something I was not expecting because I thought I looked the same (I am also Chinese!) and could blend in easily…so wrong…again…
I got to a point when I got into this mental shut-down mode and simply refused to acknowledge their presence.
Took the train back to an air-conditioned mall and sought comfort to a nice lunch and later dessert from a famous Hong Kong chain that we happen to pass by much to our delight. While waiting for our lunch I decided to take a “memorial” shot to mark my stupid vanity. I pulled out a fresh Disney band-aid, plastered it to my arm and posed for a picture for the fun of it. That one really stuck like a true 3M tape I must say, without the friction rubbing from anything that is…and no wound.
Took the train back to an air-conditioned mall and sought comfort to a nice lunch and later dessert from a famous Hong Kong chain that we happen to pass by much to our delight. While waiting for our lunch I decided to take a “memorial” shot to mark my stupid vanity. I pulled out a fresh Disney band-aid, plastered it to my arm and posed for a picture for the fun of it. That one really stuck like a true 3M tape I must say, without the friction rubbing from anything that is…and no wound.
Must say this is a pretty funny and haphazard 1st trip, would love to do more sight-seeing and taste more local dishes. I bid the city farewell (for now) with a new bag for 50dh (neither gucci nor prada), 5 big packs of sesame dumplings, another big pack of meat dumplings, fishballs, and century eggs (that got confiscated by dubai customs apparently with new avian flu restrictions?!). Oh, and a couple of pieces of clothing from Zara sale – yes…we went to Zara…!
Monday, 23 July 2007
A chocolate tale
I had a godiva chocolate in my pocket. It is one of my favourites - 50% dark chocolate square – from the assorted box on flight. The other day, I saved it specially to go with my black tea after the hectic service.
I took the first bite, a tiny one since it’s just a small piece, and coz I wanted to savour it to the max. Just as I was feeling the pleasures coming through and having my tastebuds teased, I sensed a whiff and poof!...my chocolate has been snatched from my hands by my purser who then swiftly tossed it into the bin, all within a split second.
?!?!?!?!?! was my expression while still having chocolate melting in my mouth, and speechless of course by this sudden bizarre act.
“You worked too hard in the gym this morning for this!” – came the justification in a loud, clear and very righteous tone.
Okieeee….I did bump into my purser as I was running on the treadmill earlier. My first option was to hit the pool but to my dismay it was jammed packed. By the time I dallied back to my room and changed to my running gear, I realized I had only 30mins to jog before I had to get ready for flight. The point is, I then bumped into her while halfway through my jog.
Little did I know this little encounter was going to cost my precious chocolate later that day.
So – I guessed she meant well although I thought it’s a bit too harsh and pro-active on her part to pull that act on me. I just blinked in reaction to her explanation. Could not say anything for two seconds except look in the direction of the bin and secretly mourning for my loss knowing that was the last one in the box. Still reeling a bit since my logic is that I actually deserved that piece of chocolate more because I worked out. Almost wanted to say that out in defence but held back, as the damage was already done and won’t bring my chocolate back. Furthermore, do not see the point in starting an argument about this seemingly petty matter since we barely knew each other except from this flight, and she was unaware that I worship food, and jogging for me is really more a bid to keep fit rather than diet or lose weight.
What can I say, but manage a weak “thank-you” and that subtle “I guess I need people like you in my life” for a small sarcasm to ease self. Next time, if I ever fly with her again, I will just make sure my chocs are out of sight away from her.
I took the first bite, a tiny one since it’s just a small piece, and coz I wanted to savour it to the max. Just as I was feeling the pleasures coming through and having my tastebuds teased, I sensed a whiff and poof!...my chocolate has been snatched from my hands by my purser who then swiftly tossed it into the bin, all within a split second.
?!?!?!?!?! was my expression while still having chocolate melting in my mouth, and speechless of course by this sudden bizarre act.
“You worked too hard in the gym this morning for this!” – came the justification in a loud, clear and very righteous tone.
Okieeee….I did bump into my purser as I was running on the treadmill earlier. My first option was to hit the pool but to my dismay it was jammed packed. By the time I dallied back to my room and changed to my running gear, I realized I had only 30mins to jog before I had to get ready for flight. The point is, I then bumped into her while halfway through my jog.
Little did I know this little encounter was going to cost my precious chocolate later that day.
So – I guessed she meant well although I thought it’s a bit too harsh and pro-active on her part to pull that act on me. I just blinked in reaction to her explanation. Could not say anything for two seconds except look in the direction of the bin and secretly mourning for my loss knowing that was the last one in the box. Still reeling a bit since my logic is that I actually deserved that piece of chocolate more because I worked out. Almost wanted to say that out in defence but held back, as the damage was already done and won’t bring my chocolate back. Furthermore, do not see the point in starting an argument about this seemingly petty matter since we barely knew each other except from this flight, and she was unaware that I worship food, and jogging for me is really more a bid to keep fit rather than diet or lose weight.
What can I say, but manage a weak “thank-you” and that subtle “I guess I need people like you in my life” for a small sarcasm to ease self. Next time, if I ever fly with her again, I will just make sure my chocs are out of sight away from her.
Saturday, 14 July 2007
Singapore National Song
This is sent to me by a dear fren wenwei, touching especially being away from home...do take a look if u have a few minutes to spare...missing sin...
Athens
The famous one...
Dionysos theatre
Emilyn and me
The illegal pic - got told off by guards for sitting there!
Finally got to fly to Athens after 5.5 years with emirates!
4 hours after take-off I am welcomed by clear summer skies and green mountainous terrains littered with houses, mostly white. Still kind of feel like ancient Greece for some reason, except with more modern buildings and definitely more houses.
Dashed out to the famed acropolis upon reaching hotel, feelings of excitement and anticipation rising, wanting to absorb into the culture and land as much as I can in the next 24 hours.
My camera already fully charged the previous night in preparation for massive shutter-bugging, track shoes to maneuver the uneven terrains as pre-warned by a pal, bottle of water to combat the summer heat and my active sweat glands, plus I have Emilyn (a fellow Singaporean) as company cum tour guide (she’s been to acropolis twice before), and I am all set!
Acropolis is in the midst of restoration thus there are scaffolding everywhere. Nevertheless, it is still a pretty sight, especially when we made our way to the top, plus all the scenic views of the city to feast our eyes on. Lots of ruins of course, somehow still charming in their bits and pieces, the theatres, the temples, the statues, all set amongst lush greeneries and hills.
And boy was it hot, and the sun seemed to get more merciless as we ascend! I cannot fathom being dressed in long sleeves and pants in this weather like the Japanese tourists we saw everywhere, but I really won’t mind the hats and umbrellas after half an hour. All of them have hats and umbrellas! My lines of defense were merely my sunnies and rapidly depleting tissue papers. We took advantage of every shade or shadow for a breather, and ahh-ed with relief for every bout of breeze that passed.
3.5 hours of exploring later, we emerged from acropolis, all sunned-out, hungry, sticky with sweat, and haggard and sore from all the walking and climbing. Despite all, we felt accomplished! Even Emilyn saw some sights that she missed on previous trips.
We then wandered to the lively markets off monastiraki. Had some yummy grilled corn, got my name in greek on a leather bracelet, an ethnic necklace to match my Grecian style dress, and 1kg of cherries for only 1.50 euros – my star buy!! Needed food desperately, so when we spotted Macdonalds, I begged Emilyn to go in and leave the greek cuisine to the next day instead. The greeks must love their mayonnaise coz the default question for sauce is mayonnaise or ketchup, and I have never seen such a huge packet of mayonnaise being meted out in all the Mackers I have been to all over the world. Another thing – they give out this tiny plastic fork for the fries, and I am only more than happy to oblige using it.
We explored around till about 9pm (the day is still bright, would not have realized if we did not check our watches) and fatigue began to take over. Fell asleep to one of the most comfy beds ever amongst all the destinations we fly to – and it is not my fatigue deluding my judgement I swear!
One peculiar thing I noticed about the hotel (Ledra Marriott) though, is that they left their feedback form on the bedside as well as in the bathroom beside the toilet seat. Hee, I thought its pretty original…guess they figured we could use some time helping them out on how to improve their services whilst doing number two.
Determined not to leave Greece without tasting the feta cheese and the souvlaki, I ordered room service the next day and had a blissful meal. The pork souvlaki is just heaven, you just know the greeks love their meat, and the feta so smooth and melting, even the pitta bread is unfaultable for a rice eater like me. I ate them all up without guilt as I already made up for my feast with a stint at the gym in the morning.
Still missed the Olympic stadium, the temple of zeus, the parliament house, some museums, and the islands off the saronic gulf. Have to leave them till next time…I underestimated the multiple sights in Athens as I read through the guide book before snoozing off.
By the way, another discovery is that the bag and jewellery brand Follie Follie is actually from Greece! Did not get a chance to visit the boutique will definitely do that on my next trip!
4 hours after take-off I am welcomed by clear summer skies and green mountainous terrains littered with houses, mostly white. Still kind of feel like ancient Greece for some reason, except with more modern buildings and definitely more houses.
Dashed out to the famed acropolis upon reaching hotel, feelings of excitement and anticipation rising, wanting to absorb into the culture and land as much as I can in the next 24 hours.
My camera already fully charged the previous night in preparation for massive shutter-bugging, track shoes to maneuver the uneven terrains as pre-warned by a pal, bottle of water to combat the summer heat and my active sweat glands, plus I have Emilyn (a fellow Singaporean) as company cum tour guide (she’s been to acropolis twice before), and I am all set!
Acropolis is in the midst of restoration thus there are scaffolding everywhere. Nevertheless, it is still a pretty sight, especially when we made our way to the top, plus all the scenic views of the city to feast our eyes on. Lots of ruins of course, somehow still charming in their bits and pieces, the theatres, the temples, the statues, all set amongst lush greeneries and hills.
And boy was it hot, and the sun seemed to get more merciless as we ascend! I cannot fathom being dressed in long sleeves and pants in this weather like the Japanese tourists we saw everywhere, but I really won’t mind the hats and umbrellas after half an hour. All of them have hats and umbrellas! My lines of defense were merely my sunnies and rapidly depleting tissue papers. We took advantage of every shade or shadow for a breather, and ahh-ed with relief for every bout of breeze that passed.
3.5 hours of exploring later, we emerged from acropolis, all sunned-out, hungry, sticky with sweat, and haggard and sore from all the walking and climbing. Despite all, we felt accomplished! Even Emilyn saw some sights that she missed on previous trips.
We then wandered to the lively markets off monastiraki. Had some yummy grilled corn, got my name in greek on a leather bracelet, an ethnic necklace to match my Grecian style dress, and 1kg of cherries for only 1.50 euros – my star buy!! Needed food desperately, so when we spotted Macdonalds, I begged Emilyn to go in and leave the greek cuisine to the next day instead. The greeks must love their mayonnaise coz the default question for sauce is mayonnaise or ketchup, and I have never seen such a huge packet of mayonnaise being meted out in all the Mackers I have been to all over the world. Another thing – they give out this tiny plastic fork for the fries, and I am only more than happy to oblige using it.
We explored around till about 9pm (the day is still bright, would not have realized if we did not check our watches) and fatigue began to take over. Fell asleep to one of the most comfy beds ever amongst all the destinations we fly to – and it is not my fatigue deluding my judgement I swear!
One peculiar thing I noticed about the hotel (Ledra Marriott) though, is that they left their feedback form on the bedside as well as in the bathroom beside the toilet seat. Hee, I thought its pretty original…guess they figured we could use some time helping them out on how to improve their services whilst doing number two.
Determined not to leave Greece without tasting the feta cheese and the souvlaki, I ordered room service the next day and had a blissful meal. The pork souvlaki is just heaven, you just know the greeks love their meat, and the feta so smooth and melting, even the pitta bread is unfaultable for a rice eater like me. I ate them all up without guilt as I already made up for my feast with a stint at the gym in the morning.
Still missed the Olympic stadium, the temple of zeus, the parliament house, some museums, and the islands off the saronic gulf. Have to leave them till next time…I underestimated the multiple sights in Athens as I read through the guide book before snoozing off.
By the way, another discovery is that the bag and jewellery brand Follie Follie is actually from Greece! Did not get a chance to visit the boutique will definitely do that on my next trip!
Wednesday, 11 July 2007
Dream
I dreamt of daddy last night. He looked well.
The whole family went out for dinner.
It’s good to see him again. It’s been several months since my last dream of him.
He did not talk much, but that is how he has always been.
Quiet, hardworking, wanting to provide the best for the family, always awkward to show his love being the traditional Chinese man, yet I just know he always have much much more to offer beneath that reserved self.
He doted on us. Ecstatic when I passed my PSLEs and GCE with flying colours and was amongst the top10% national level, like I am fulfilling something that he did not get a chance to when young. The 1st time I won an essay writing competition in primary 3, I gave him my prize, a parker pen, which he treasured so much he never used it until the ink has gone all dry.
He drove me to school every time I overslept, and I oversleep everyday at one stage so he can drive me. He will get up no matter how tired, and I was too young and insensible to take into consideration he works 15-hour days 24-7, except during Chinese new year. Still, he always obliged.
I took him out on a stroll during his last days around the garden of the hospice he was in. We met a few strangers along the way, and he will tell each of them, eyes filled with pride, “this is my daughter”. I will never forget the look on his face, and how it filled my heart with both tears of joy and sadness that day.
He passed shortly after, 2 months shy of my 21st. I was on the way home after an overnight watch as mum and bro had arrived to take over. When I received the call, I can’t remember how long I froze for, nor did I remember how I made it back to the hospital.
I did not cry, as much as I wanted to, even made some relatives angry at my “indifference”. Then, right till the 5th day, the moment we had to turn our backs so that his coffin is being lifted to the crematorium, it finally hit me that he is gone for real. Like something being unleashed inside me, I poured my heart out till it’s hollow.
Daddy, I am still sorry that I was not there with you when you drew your final breath. I am still angry at myself sometimes for missing such an important moment, or not taking in the cue that maybe you did not want me to go, with your big bright eyes just starring at me that morning when I said I am going home. Sometimes I ask why me? Wrote you letters about it…but now I try to tell myself it is your love for me that did not bear to want me watch you go…
Please come visit me often pappy…pappy - that is what I used to call him. I wish to share my dreams with you in my dreams, and know that you are doing okay from time to time, and give you lots of cuddles.
The whole family went out for dinner.
It’s good to see him again. It’s been several months since my last dream of him.
He did not talk much, but that is how he has always been.
Quiet, hardworking, wanting to provide the best for the family, always awkward to show his love being the traditional Chinese man, yet I just know he always have much much more to offer beneath that reserved self.
He doted on us. Ecstatic when I passed my PSLEs and GCE with flying colours and was amongst the top10% national level, like I am fulfilling something that he did not get a chance to when young. The 1st time I won an essay writing competition in primary 3, I gave him my prize, a parker pen, which he treasured so much he never used it until the ink has gone all dry.
He drove me to school every time I overslept, and I oversleep everyday at one stage so he can drive me. He will get up no matter how tired, and I was too young and insensible to take into consideration he works 15-hour days 24-7, except during Chinese new year. Still, he always obliged.
I took him out on a stroll during his last days around the garden of the hospice he was in. We met a few strangers along the way, and he will tell each of them, eyes filled with pride, “this is my daughter”. I will never forget the look on his face, and how it filled my heart with both tears of joy and sadness that day.
He passed shortly after, 2 months shy of my 21st. I was on the way home after an overnight watch as mum and bro had arrived to take over. When I received the call, I can’t remember how long I froze for, nor did I remember how I made it back to the hospital.
I did not cry, as much as I wanted to, even made some relatives angry at my “indifference”. Then, right till the 5th day, the moment we had to turn our backs so that his coffin is being lifted to the crematorium, it finally hit me that he is gone for real. Like something being unleashed inside me, I poured my heart out till it’s hollow.
Daddy, I am still sorry that I was not there with you when you drew your final breath. I am still angry at myself sometimes for missing such an important moment, or not taking in the cue that maybe you did not want me to go, with your big bright eyes just starring at me that morning when I said I am going home. Sometimes I ask why me? Wrote you letters about it…but now I try to tell myself it is your love for me that did not bear to want me watch you go…
Please come visit me often pappy…pappy - that is what I used to call him. I wish to share my dreams with you in my dreams, and know that you are doing okay from time to time, and give you lots of cuddles.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
Nip/Tuck
Finished season 4 recently.
This is a show revolving around two plastic surgeons in Miami, supposedly an extremely looks-obsessed city where keeping up appearances are so paramount it has become a cult.
After the initial attraction of the yummy looking plastic surgeons, as well as this controversial social issue that the show debates on about our modern world, I begin to wonder why I like the show so much.
“Tell me what you don’t like about yourself” – the one line you will always hear but never tire of. On the contrary, it’s always with great anticipation for some of the most outrageous plots that will ensue.
As Dr Troy puts it, “beauty is pain. Suck it up!” Says so much in these six little words. Trying to bring out the best of what is god-given to you is not good enough for some. In the pursuit of beauty and seeking perfection, many lost their way and missed their life in return.
On the other hand, it’s also a pretty screwed up show and makes you laugh at its atrocities, but at the same time feels astonishingly real too in between those black humor. Maybe it’s true that life is indeed stranger than fiction sometimes.
Full of colourful and unforgettable characters…the man who wants to look like his puppet, the sudden-wealth lottery winner who ended up losing everything that meant something to her, the lonely wife who got her nipple bitten off whilst trying to engage in unthinkable acts with her rottweiler…
Also being reminded that plastic surgery is not just for the vain and rich, but necessary and life-changing for those with real disabilities, though this is often less glorified than the former. Burn or deformed victims, clef chins, a new pair of boobs or balls after beating cancer for that necessary self-boost, altering appearances to evade psychos or in the name of love as silly as it may sound…
There is beauty, skin, gross, suspense, romance, drama, family, humor all wrapped in one whopper of TV entertainment.
So much being said, I am not an active advocate for plastic surgery. Having lash extensions recently is as far and invasive as I will go, and trust me I am suffering for that in exchange of the compliments! There are definitely parts of me that I am not happy with but I’ll live and make peace with them through little whines from time to time. Add to that I have began to start feeling the onset of aging process and slowing metabolism at 281/2, I just wish to inherit mum’s good genes and age naturally with grace, without a scalpel near me unless it’s a life threatening situation.
In fact, I feel that the show only discourages any thoughts of doing a liposuction or nose job once you are being exposed to the explicit procedures time and again, which makes even a self-proclaimed horror sucker like me cringe without fail in every episode.
I once had a friend tell me that people like shows like seinfield coz the characters are such losers. Niptuck is sort of a show full of losers trying to win, prove their worth. Do we all derive some comfort and satisfaction watching people screw up in shows as a relation back to our own lives? Or use that to feel better about ourselves? But aren’t we all flawed in some way? In life we can never always expect to win. We will all have loser moments, so maybe being able to see that on shows keeps the perspective real. As much as I adore and prefer happy endings, life is not just made of fairytales.
The obsession with physical beauty has reached alarming heights in our times. Celebrities are portraying a skewed image of the definition of what looks good, causing many young gals and boys to emulate a negative body image. Anorexia and bulimia are new age diseases in developed countries while the bigger half of the world is starving.
But then again, throughout history people have sacrificed and died for vanity. Pride is one of the seven deadly sins and closely related to vanity. Like it or not, it’s in all of us to want to look good, only variance is the extent you will go for it.
Hence, for a show revolving around such sheer superficiality, it actually found its way deep into me with the lessons along the way.
Although beauty has its advantages and power, it is really what is in you that counts and shines at the end of the day. Beauty does work in mysterious ways, thus the saying “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder”. As long as you have a good heart, your beauty will shine through eventually, and that is one beauty that will withstand the test of time and stay with you eternally.
This is a show revolving around two plastic surgeons in Miami, supposedly an extremely looks-obsessed city where keeping up appearances are so paramount it has become a cult.
After the initial attraction of the yummy looking plastic surgeons, as well as this controversial social issue that the show debates on about our modern world, I begin to wonder why I like the show so much.
“Tell me what you don’t like about yourself” – the one line you will always hear but never tire of. On the contrary, it’s always with great anticipation for some of the most outrageous plots that will ensue.
As Dr Troy puts it, “beauty is pain. Suck it up!” Says so much in these six little words. Trying to bring out the best of what is god-given to you is not good enough for some. In the pursuit of beauty and seeking perfection, many lost their way and missed their life in return.
On the other hand, it’s also a pretty screwed up show and makes you laugh at its atrocities, but at the same time feels astonishingly real too in between those black humor. Maybe it’s true that life is indeed stranger than fiction sometimes.
Full of colourful and unforgettable characters…the man who wants to look like his puppet, the sudden-wealth lottery winner who ended up losing everything that meant something to her, the lonely wife who got her nipple bitten off whilst trying to engage in unthinkable acts with her rottweiler…
Also being reminded that plastic surgery is not just for the vain and rich, but necessary and life-changing for those with real disabilities, though this is often less glorified than the former. Burn or deformed victims, clef chins, a new pair of boobs or balls after beating cancer for that necessary self-boost, altering appearances to evade psychos or in the name of love as silly as it may sound…
There is beauty, skin, gross, suspense, romance, drama, family, humor all wrapped in one whopper of TV entertainment.
So much being said, I am not an active advocate for plastic surgery. Having lash extensions recently is as far and invasive as I will go, and trust me I am suffering for that in exchange of the compliments! There are definitely parts of me that I am not happy with but I’ll live and make peace with them through little whines from time to time. Add to that I have began to start feeling the onset of aging process and slowing metabolism at 281/2, I just wish to inherit mum’s good genes and age naturally with grace, without a scalpel near me unless it’s a life threatening situation.
In fact, I feel that the show only discourages any thoughts of doing a liposuction or nose job once you are being exposed to the explicit procedures time and again, which makes even a self-proclaimed horror sucker like me cringe without fail in every episode.
I once had a friend tell me that people like shows like seinfield coz the characters are such losers. Niptuck is sort of a show full of losers trying to win, prove their worth. Do we all derive some comfort and satisfaction watching people screw up in shows as a relation back to our own lives? Or use that to feel better about ourselves? But aren’t we all flawed in some way? In life we can never always expect to win. We will all have loser moments, so maybe being able to see that on shows keeps the perspective real. As much as I adore and prefer happy endings, life is not just made of fairytales.
The obsession with physical beauty has reached alarming heights in our times. Celebrities are portraying a skewed image of the definition of what looks good, causing many young gals and boys to emulate a negative body image. Anorexia and bulimia are new age diseases in developed countries while the bigger half of the world is starving.
But then again, throughout history people have sacrificed and died for vanity. Pride is one of the seven deadly sins and closely related to vanity. Like it or not, it’s in all of us to want to look good, only variance is the extent you will go for it.
Hence, for a show revolving around such sheer superficiality, it actually found its way deep into me with the lessons along the way.
Although beauty has its advantages and power, it is really what is in you that counts and shines at the end of the day. Beauty does work in mysterious ways, thus the saying “beauty lies in the eye of the beholder”. As long as you have a good heart, your beauty will shine through eventually, and that is one beauty that will withstand the test of time and stay with you eternally.
Saturday, 7 July 2007
These 3 days...
Itchy backside wants to run out and embrace all the sales…then tell self to transfer all the extra energy on the treadmill instead, but body will rebel and get stuck to veg position…watched a whole bunch of movies after finishing niptuck…sleeping pattern is so out of whack the days literally become nights, I sleep only from dawn till dusk.
Filled brain with all these dialogues from the shows, feeling pretty moronic at one stage I was tempted to knock own brain to see if there is any more of me left in it. Dragging self out of bed to shower is a chore, but will always thank self for it after. Realized that do what I do long enough and anyone will easily sink into a temporary depression, even with the slightest good intentions in mind at the beginning.
I should be well rested, but I am still tired. No point lamenting when time is already spent.
Doing nothing is more tiring than doing something I learnt.
So I shall start, better late than never right…chatted with friends online and on the phone, packed up the room and for the trip tomorrow, and hello treadmill here I come!
Filled brain with all these dialogues from the shows, feeling pretty moronic at one stage I was tempted to knock own brain to see if there is any more of me left in it. Dragging self out of bed to shower is a chore, but will always thank self for it after. Realized that do what I do long enough and anyone will easily sink into a temporary depression, even with the slightest good intentions in mind at the beginning.
I should be well rested, but I am still tired. No point lamenting when time is already spent.
Doing nothing is more tiring than doing something I learnt.
So I shall start, better late than never right…chatted with friends online and on the phone, packed up the room and for the trip tomorrow, and hello treadmill here I come!
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
stuck in dubai...
As frustrated as I am for not being able to go back to sin on my 3 off days coz of summer holidays and overfilled flights, I have decided not to fight it anymore, accept the fact after initial mourning period this morning, and see what good I can make out of this time off instead.
Went to supermarket and bought a bunch of stuff. 1st off…making chicken soup, easy and fuss free and filled with ingredients that I love like tofu, mushrooms, veggies, onions. I got a little carried away and overfilled the pot. The picture you see here is after 2 servings coz too busy and flustered just now to think of taking pictures. I will be full of soup in the next few days since no one is around to share the load. Good thing soup tends to get better overnight I console self.
Also got popcorn in preparation for chasing nip/tuck season 4 and a bunch of new movies; cherries, apples and melon for healthy snacks (I do try…); milk, yogurt and cereal for nutritious start; ribena to fight with recent diet coke addiction; cup noodles for my Paris flight on the 8th which so happens to be a Sunday (they know I need to save!).
In addition, aim to go to gym at least twice during these 3 days with all the vegging and pigging out.
Just to camp at home, avoid shopping malls and blistering heat outside, read and watch serials and exercise and eat for the next 3 days!! Most friends are not around anyway, so will take it as a break for self.
My laptop will be my boyfriend. Keep me company in case I got sick of doing anything mentioned above…take me wherever I want to go in cyberspace while keeping in touch with friends online.
Perhaps, 3 days will be gone in a blink…then I know at least that will mean I enjoyed myself. If not, you will hear more from me.
In addition, aim to go to gym at least twice during these 3 days with all the vegging and pigging out.
Just to camp at home, avoid shopping malls and blistering heat outside, read and watch serials and exercise and eat for the next 3 days!! Most friends are not around anyway, so will take it as a break for self.
My laptop will be my boyfriend. Keep me company in case I got sick of doing anything mentioned above…take me wherever I want to go in cyberspace while keeping in touch with friends online.
Perhaps, 3 days will be gone in a blink…then I know at least that will mean I enjoyed myself. If not, you will hear more from me.
Monday, 2 July 2007
Powerpuff Nite
The powerpuff gals finally managed to be in town at the same time (at last!!) so must hurry to meet.Picked a nice French restaurant called café chic so can catch up properly with good food and chocolate dessert. Service is immaculate with finesse and flair apart from the philipino waitress’s accent (god bless her she is sweet and nice but we just can’t help it with her “fan-pried fish”). Yummy bread even for a non-bread eater like moi…and all the little chef’s compliments peppering between our orders in famous French portions and style.
Had a great evening exchanging powerpuff gossip and teasing one another with own unique super power whilst making up for lost time over last 3 weeks. In addition, purple powerpuff updates about new guy on the block; red powerpuff is updating her wardrobe for her hot date in London; yellow powerpuff is blabbering about everything under the sun.
Finally had enough of a growingly obnoxious table at the other end of the restaurant and went to trader vic’s instead at madinat jumeirah. This may be an equivalent to a Monday night in most countries but trader vics is pumping with latino heat and passion. Ordered the infamous potent cocktails while enjoying music and company.
I found my new love called Singapore symphony, so yummy I finished the whole cocktail, feeling a little closer to home while sipping away, thinking I will be fine coz I already lined my tummy with French food. Yet, to my surprise, I still end up puking on the way to the carpark, at the toilet in the men’s prayer room!...sigh…this is only after ONE cocktail! Maybe I over-ate, maybe I am just getting worse (my yardstick of 3 smiroff ice given by a friend needs to be re-written soon).
Luckily I have my powerpuff gals to make sure I arrive home nice and safe. Now I am awake, with no hangover and ready to conquer the world with the powerpuffs again today!
Mauritius
Just got back from this small exotic piece of heaven thanks to standby duty.Haven’t been there for almost 4 years. Flight is normally full of honeymooners or holiday makers. It is about 6 hours directly south of dubai surrounded by the Indian ocean, and the official language there is French.
Nothing has changed there all these time, apart from the refurbished airport. The pace there is still pleasantly idyllic. The same bus with the luggage rack on the roof…I always worry for whoever is lifting those suitcases up, but luckily our layover there is only a short 12 hours so most of us should have nothing in our bags apart from bikinis or pyjamas or both.
We still drive through a maze of corn fields before reaching the same beautiful hotel where you will be greeted by a smiling local serving you a refreshing fruit punch as you wait to check in to spacious rooms with balconies and big bathrooms.
As braindead and sleep-deprived as I was, there’s no time to waste! We have about 10 hours to go to the beach, have lunch and sleep before wake-up call. Azlinda and me managed to get connecting rooms. We changed into our beach gear and made a beeline for a spot in the sun. It was raining and cloudy when we landed but by the time we checked in the sun has decided to give us a glorious day instead.
I have not seen Azlinda for almost 4 years too…the last and only trip we did together was a SIN-BNE when we were still in business class...one of those memorable flights. She is one of those people whom you rarely see each other but will remember forever and still click like bosom buddies, talking and laughing non-stop. She is getting married on the 28th this month. You have all my blessings gal!
Azlinda is a regular on Mauritius trips. She took me to her favourite spot just two minutes away from our rooms. It’s a nice little stretch of beach enclosure about 10 metres wide with calm and clear blue waters, coconut trees, and sun chairs. There was no one else so we felt like its our private beach for the nest few hours. I was happily snapping away with new camera while soaking in the sun and sea. And guess what? There are no sand flies!! Life is bliss!
We bought accessories and beach bags from local vendors who comb the beach routinely. To think I will be safe in Mauritius from shopping…fat hope!! I spent my entire allowance plus 30 euros on 2 bracelets and 3 necklaces. Sigh…I am incurable to shopping. But I have to say these are some of the nicest stone and shell pieces I have seen, just have to bring them back with me!
It’s a happy day for the vendors too, as this is the 1st sunny day after a week of rain.
We tanned and chatted and bargained for our purchases for 3 hours before hunger beckoned and had to leave our little haven ever so unwillingly to seek food.
Would love to do some water sports that are all complimentary to hotel guests, but I have already extended my time of consciousness to the limit, and it’s time to shower and get some needed snooze before we head back to dubai’s oven heat.
Close to pick-up time, I arrived at the hotel lobby to romantic live music at the bar nearby. The sun has gone to sleep, perfect ambience to cosy up and relax with a loved one after a day in the sun…glad I am not alone and have my fun crew to sing along to “with or without you” and “fields of gold”.
I had a short but sweet stay, and did not get burned in the sun. Still, Mauritius is one of those places that I wish I can linger longer…but its farewell for now...
Azlinda is a regular on Mauritius trips. She took me to her favourite spot just two minutes away from our rooms. It’s a nice little stretch of beach enclosure about 10 metres wide with calm and clear blue waters, coconut trees, and sun chairs. There was no one else so we felt like its our private beach for the nest few hours. I was happily snapping away with new camera while soaking in the sun and sea. And guess what? There are no sand flies!! Life is bliss!
We bought accessories and beach bags from local vendors who comb the beach routinely. To think I will be safe in Mauritius from shopping…fat hope!! I spent my entire allowance plus 30 euros on 2 bracelets and 3 necklaces. Sigh…I am incurable to shopping. But I have to say these are some of the nicest stone and shell pieces I have seen, just have to bring them back with me!
It’s a happy day for the vendors too, as this is the 1st sunny day after a week of rain.
We tanned and chatted and bargained for our purchases for 3 hours before hunger beckoned and had to leave our little haven ever so unwillingly to seek food.
Would love to do some water sports that are all complimentary to hotel guests, but I have already extended my time of consciousness to the limit, and it’s time to shower and get some needed snooze before we head back to dubai’s oven heat.
Close to pick-up time, I arrived at the hotel lobby to romantic live music at the bar nearby. The sun has gone to sleep, perfect ambience to cosy up and relax with a loved one after a day in the sun…glad I am not alone and have my fun crew to sing along to “with or without you” and “fields of gold”.
I had a short but sweet stay, and did not get burned in the sun. Still, Mauritius is one of those places that I wish I can linger longer…but its farewell for now...
Friday, 29 June 2007
Is there a shopping anonymous I can join?
I have managed to add a Hermes bag, Fendi wallet and bag, Marc Jacobs flats, a second BCBG dress, camper boots and mimco bag amid all other shopping in the last 5 weeks.
I did not strike lottery. I will be suffering from my bills now.
I am not a label freak. Before this recent label stint I only own a small Gucci bag and wallet and a few pairs of sunnies from Gucci, Roberto Cavalli and Bvlgari.
Most of the items mentioned are purchased on sale, ranging 40-70%, though still expensive, but more justifiable.
I do not know what has gotten into me for this recent lash-out. Some friends say it’s just a phase. It better be! I will be opening my current and next credit card bill with trembling hands and buckling knees.
Why bring this upon myself you will ask? Well, I always believed that money are meant to be spent, and money can always be earned back. This is of course to my mummy’s long-suffering exasperation. I know she only meant well, worried that me and my brother will have no money, worried that we are still not saving considering that we are both getting “old” and all grown up. She has her point, a very valid point, especially for me, since I am the girl, am the single one, and am earning more compared to brother. That is why I will patiently let her preach to me about saving every time we talk.
I do try to take heed of mum’s words. I could hear mum in my head asking me to walk away and start saving every time I am at the cash register paying for my wants and desires. Then I will apologise to her in my head and try to justify my purchase. Hopeless huh…
I am indeed beginning to realize the importance of saving at the same time with my mounting debt to obliging credit card companies. I am trying to convince self paying cash is real, signing card is a trap.
I need to get a grip of my shopping impulses. As thankful as I am to be able to take small comforts from retail therapy (since the world does not stop for our sorrows), am really beginning to feel I am getting too far with being the retail darling. I probably already have way too much stuff for one person, with many things tossed or given away without ever seeing daylight.
Maybe mum’s effort has paid off at last and the thought of needing to save is gaining momentum. Although the will is still quite tender and needs beefing up, I must start instilling some serious discipline so that I will not be a slave to my plastic.
For a start, I am going to terminate one of my 2 cards here in dubai the moment I cleared my bill. Having too much credit limit tempting and tickling the mind is a very bad thing, so I will also request to lower current card limit from 28,000dh to 10,000dh.
Stay at home, play more mahjong, go to the gym more, just avoid shopping malls in general and channel the “out of sight, out of mind” theory. So, to my friends - please also stop telling me where the sales are.
This I hope is not just a passing phase. So help me now...
I did not strike lottery. I will be suffering from my bills now.
I am not a label freak. Before this recent label stint I only own a small Gucci bag and wallet and a few pairs of sunnies from Gucci, Roberto Cavalli and Bvlgari.
Most of the items mentioned are purchased on sale, ranging 40-70%, though still expensive, but more justifiable.
I do not know what has gotten into me for this recent lash-out. Some friends say it’s just a phase. It better be! I will be opening my current and next credit card bill with trembling hands and buckling knees.
Why bring this upon myself you will ask? Well, I always believed that money are meant to be spent, and money can always be earned back. This is of course to my mummy’s long-suffering exasperation. I know she only meant well, worried that me and my brother will have no money, worried that we are still not saving considering that we are both getting “old” and all grown up. She has her point, a very valid point, especially for me, since I am the girl, am the single one, and am earning more compared to brother. That is why I will patiently let her preach to me about saving every time we talk.
I do try to take heed of mum’s words. I could hear mum in my head asking me to walk away and start saving every time I am at the cash register paying for my wants and desires. Then I will apologise to her in my head and try to justify my purchase. Hopeless huh…
I am indeed beginning to realize the importance of saving at the same time with my mounting debt to obliging credit card companies. I am trying to convince self paying cash is real, signing card is a trap.
I need to get a grip of my shopping impulses. As thankful as I am to be able to take small comforts from retail therapy (since the world does not stop for our sorrows), am really beginning to feel I am getting too far with being the retail darling. I probably already have way too much stuff for one person, with many things tossed or given away without ever seeing daylight.
Maybe mum’s effort has paid off at last and the thought of needing to save is gaining momentum. Although the will is still quite tender and needs beefing up, I must start instilling some serious discipline so that I will not be a slave to my plastic.
For a start, I am going to terminate one of my 2 cards here in dubai the moment I cleared my bill. Having too much credit limit tempting and tickling the mind is a very bad thing, so I will also request to lower current card limit from 28,000dh to 10,000dh.
Stay at home, play more mahjong, go to the gym more, just avoid shopping malls in general and channel the “out of sight, out of mind” theory. So, to my friends - please also stop telling me where the sales are.
This I hope is not just a passing phase. So help me now...
Thursday, 28 June 2007
An over-due letter
You said u did it all for me…yet I am nothing to u anymore…or at least we are nothing anymore…and now u are willing to fly all the way to meet me for a short trip, or come here…and specifically said u are only doing this for me as crazy as u think u are…what and how should I react?? I chose not to…that is the best thing I can do…no reaction. Now if u text me and I dun reply in time u will call…u are making all these efforts now…I am confused…
Then u keep saying u are confused…u have been confused for a long time…maybe u are just protecting yourself, something u are extremely good and consistent at doing, but am I or have I done anything to warrant being kept out of that protective wall of yours? U know and have admitted that u can tell me anything, u already let me in.
There are certain things u can and are the only one who can help yourself…realized that I can be frustrated for u , but u have to be the one who is frustrated…if ur coping mechanism is to escape and hope everything goes away, well, some things don’t, some in fact will get worse and snowball. I am not just talking about us…
Then, about us, I have told u to sort it out yourself and I can’t be involved to help u sort them anymore.
When u are ready and clear, then come and tell me.
You know what u really want and need if u search deep inside u…and don’t deny the answers just and coz u are afraid…
You ask me if I will wait, my answer is still uncertain.
As for how u feel, I know and don’t at the same time.
I bear no hard feelings. In fact, I revel in all the great times that we have shared, and there are lots.
Maybe, like a line in a recent movie that stirred up a lot of thoughts…“our fates are entwined but never joined”…two people who are deeply in love with each other don’t necessary end up together, then I figured that is why a union between two is always worth celebrating.
Maybe, just like the forces of nature that brought us together in the 1st place, we shall leave us be in their enigma…
I have my stuff to sort out while you sort out yours, this is as clear as I can get for now.
Then u keep saying u are confused…u have been confused for a long time…maybe u are just protecting yourself, something u are extremely good and consistent at doing, but am I or have I done anything to warrant being kept out of that protective wall of yours? U know and have admitted that u can tell me anything, u already let me in.
There are certain things u can and are the only one who can help yourself…realized that I can be frustrated for u , but u have to be the one who is frustrated…if ur coping mechanism is to escape and hope everything goes away, well, some things don’t, some in fact will get worse and snowball. I am not just talking about us…
Then, about us, I have told u to sort it out yourself and I can’t be involved to help u sort them anymore.
When u are ready and clear, then come and tell me.
You know what u really want and need if u search deep inside u…and don’t deny the answers just and coz u are afraid…
You ask me if I will wait, my answer is still uncertain.
As for how u feel, I know and don’t at the same time.
I bear no hard feelings. In fact, I revel in all the great times that we have shared, and there are lots.
Maybe, like a line in a recent movie that stirred up a lot of thoughts…“our fates are entwined but never joined”…two people who are deeply in love with each other don’t necessary end up together, then I figured that is why a union between two is always worth celebrating.
Maybe, just like the forces of nature that brought us together in the 1st place, we shall leave us be in their enigma…
I have my stuff to sort out while you sort out yours, this is as clear as I can get for now.
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
fragile
Humans are very fragile beings, especially if affected by emotions.
Sometimes I may wish I rather not have emotions, especially sad or hurtful ones, yet what are we if we don’t possess feelings? Can’t imagine life without being able to feel, laugh, cry…remember that little boy in the movie A.I. where he crave so much to be real…the scene where in desperation to seek acknowledgement, he forced food and drinks into his robotic body at the dinner table despite knowing he risks damaging himself…heart-breaking…even robots have fragile moments, let alone us.
We are fragile so we can feel.
We are fragile so there is space to grow and emerge stronger.
We are fragile so we can learn how to heal, emotionally or physically.
We are also fragile coz we let ourselves be.
Being fragile is not a sign of weakness. It is a given to all of us.
Fragility is part of life. Everyone has a soft spot for something. Without weaknesses, we will not recognize our strengths.
We must not be afraid to be vulnerable, for it teaches us great lessons in the process. We have friends and family, even strangers, who will be there when we are feeling weak, helpless, hopeless.
Some of the greatest relieves are attained when we finally relinquish trying to stay strong even when the weight is too much to bear, and let out all our suppressed feelings…be human. Then we will be able to see clearer, reboot, and go on.
Just don’t let fragile take over and be an excuse...it's all a fine line.
Tuesday, 26 June 2007
Thinking aloud…full or empty
My life in dubai apart from work is full of watching serials, listening to music, reading, going online, meeting friends for coffee, shopping, and recently blogging.
You can fill your day with all sorts of things and activities yet still feel empty inside sometimes.
I will busy self with talking and typing to friends including loads of hollow crap amidst substantial meaningful conversations.
Going shopping to fill a bursting wardrobe, and end up with an empty wallet full of receipts.
Stuffing brain with knowledge and trivial from books, only to vacate most of the information again in no time to a forgetful mind.
Stringing various intense emotions along with all the fiction, dramas and music I expose self to, then finding bits and pieces that I can relate to own life and take comfort in knowing that someone shares similar feelings and thoughts. Yet emptiness creeps in again after initial satisfaction with the end of each drama series…a song close to my heart…the final page of a book…
At times, there exists an emptiness deep within me that I can’t rid of no matter what I do. Is this supposed to be normal? To have some level of emptiness from time to time especially as we age? Coz I can’t remember having that feeling when I was a child or teenager, or was I too young to know then??
I then wonder what I am lacking in life, and how I can banish that emptiness away…perhaps this hollow feeling is part and parcel of life and it strikes you when it thinks you need it so you can reassess your life, keep things in check…??
Sometimes I stare into space to fill my void with emptiness. Duration can range from a mere few seconds to several minutes. Like air, emptiness takes up space and has weight too. Emptiness can be extremely heavy to bear.
Perhaps full or empty, they are actually the same, interchangeable, co-dependent, and fiercely co-related.
Nonetheless, even with all these full and empty talk, the glass is still half-full to me(most of the time at least), including when emptiness strikes…and for that I am grateful.
You can fill your day with all sorts of things and activities yet still feel empty inside sometimes.
I will busy self with talking and typing to friends including loads of hollow crap amidst substantial meaningful conversations.
Going shopping to fill a bursting wardrobe, and end up with an empty wallet full of receipts.
Stuffing brain with knowledge and trivial from books, only to vacate most of the information again in no time to a forgetful mind.
Stringing various intense emotions along with all the fiction, dramas and music I expose self to, then finding bits and pieces that I can relate to own life and take comfort in knowing that someone shares similar feelings and thoughts. Yet emptiness creeps in again after initial satisfaction with the end of each drama series…a song close to my heart…the final page of a book…
At times, there exists an emptiness deep within me that I can’t rid of no matter what I do. Is this supposed to be normal? To have some level of emptiness from time to time especially as we age? Coz I can’t remember having that feeling when I was a child or teenager, or was I too young to know then??
I then wonder what I am lacking in life, and how I can banish that emptiness away…perhaps this hollow feeling is part and parcel of life and it strikes you when it thinks you need it so you can reassess your life, keep things in check…??
Sometimes I stare into space to fill my void with emptiness. Duration can range from a mere few seconds to several minutes. Like air, emptiness takes up space and has weight too. Emptiness can be extremely heavy to bear.
Perhaps full or empty, they are actually the same, interchangeable, co-dependent, and fiercely co-related.
Nonetheless, even with all these full and empty talk, the glass is still half-full to me(most of the time at least), including when emptiness strikes…and for that I am grateful.
Sunday, 24 June 2007
Lessons from Angel Lover
This is a Taiwanese 40-parter that I just finished chasing starring the adorable Ming dao whom I can’t resist loving to bits.
Also a feel-good series necessary in life using pretty real and touching mini stories to convey different lessons.
Below are some stuff and clichés that lingered in my mind after completing the show.
Quotes are testing my translation skills, but you get the idea…
Loving a person is not doing whatever he or she asks you to do, but knowing to discern what is right and wrong before you blindly oblige.
Love yourself first, don’t wait for someone’s love or someone to love you.
If you take care of loving yourself, you will then have the ability to love others.
It is very dangerous to have someone else as your life goal, or rely your life on another person.
We will only see what we want and choose to see. If it’s something that we don’t want to believe or accept, we won’t see them even if it’s blatantly in your vision.
Accompanying someone’s pain may not necessarily alleviate their physical and mental suffering. Instead, we must try to our best ability to help him/her finish the things he/she wants to do so that they will have no regrets in life…or at least less regrets.
Everyone has a past. Do we always have to use the past to judge a person’s present?
Reunions are made joyous coz of goodbyes. But knowing this does not take away the pain when bidding goodbyes, and such is life.
You can lose everything, but you can’t lose yourself.
One must always remember love and passion empowers us to face anything in life.
Giving everything for love and getting bruised all over in return may sound foolish, but it is at least proof of making an effort and working hard to survive...hmm…a bit of twisted and fuzzy logic happening here but quite true.
God will always secretly put us in someone’s heart before taking us away.
Life is very fragile, you never know when you will be taken away from it.
Life is very short with many things we will miss or have no time for inevitably…so go out and do and say what you really feel and don’t hide your love from those you love before its too late.
The money we save IS what we earn, not our salary.
Do not change yourself for someone.
Habits can be changed!
Life is like holding a racket, grip must not be too hard nor too lax, and must constantly be fluid to advance or step back without being restricted.
Also a feel-good series necessary in life using pretty real and touching mini stories to convey different lessons.
Below are some stuff and clichés that lingered in my mind after completing the show.
Quotes are testing my translation skills, but you get the idea…
Loving a person is not doing whatever he or she asks you to do, but knowing to discern what is right and wrong before you blindly oblige.
Love yourself first, don’t wait for someone’s love or someone to love you.
If you take care of loving yourself, you will then have the ability to love others.
It is very dangerous to have someone else as your life goal, or rely your life on another person.
We will only see what we want and choose to see. If it’s something that we don’t want to believe or accept, we won’t see them even if it’s blatantly in your vision.
Accompanying someone’s pain may not necessarily alleviate their physical and mental suffering. Instead, we must try to our best ability to help him/her finish the things he/she wants to do so that they will have no regrets in life…or at least less regrets.
Everyone has a past. Do we always have to use the past to judge a person’s present?
Reunions are made joyous coz of goodbyes. But knowing this does not take away the pain when bidding goodbyes, and such is life.
You can lose everything, but you can’t lose yourself.
One must always remember love and passion empowers us to face anything in life.
Giving everything for love and getting bruised all over in return may sound foolish, but it is at least proof of making an effort and working hard to survive...hmm…a bit of twisted and fuzzy logic happening here but quite true.
God will always secretly put us in someone’s heart before taking us away.
Life is very fragile, you never know when you will be taken away from it.
Life is very short with many things we will miss or have no time for inevitably…so go out and do and say what you really feel and don’t hide your love from those you love before its too late.
The money we save IS what we earn, not our salary.
Do not change yourself for someone.
Habits can be changed!
Life is like holding a racket, grip must not be too hard nor too lax, and must constantly be fluid to advance or step back without being restricted.
Hope you find a helpful reminder here too.
A day in the flight of waiting
Change of duty to go to London a few days ago.
Haven’t been there for ages, but don’t normally request for the flight anyway coz we stay real close to the airport and real far from the city, and the 24 hours layover don’t allow much time to do much after the normally tiring flight.
Just looking forward to the nice and fluffy bed, Macdonalds and petrol station shop visit…catch up on some world news…read…watch dvds…sleep!!
Checked evita, my most trusted gal in EK before pick up and received message of 30min delay of flight…no big deal, got time to check weather there online and sip a cuppa tea. 15-19deg! London never fails to cool in the middle of summer.
Everything seemed ok until we were taxiing on the runway and the captain’s voice came on the P.A. Silent dread as news of having to return to stand due to a technical problem forced their way into our ears. One of my first class passenger let out an angry “what??!!” so loud I think the whole cabin can hear him.
I realised later he is right after all for such a huge reaction…coz this is just the beginning of a series of P.A. for 15min-waits and a very long long day.
Found out the culprit is the faulty de-icing valve on the left wing. Guessed you don’t wanna take off with that problem.
Opened doors and engineers and ground staff swarmed in and out during initial stage of discussions and actions. Decision made to test run engines to see if need to change the valve or not. 15 minutes gone...
Closed doors for the test run. Another 15 minutes. Full load of passengers started asking about their connecting flights…we have LOTS of passengers connecting to America and domestically within UK.
Opened doors. Must change the valve before we go. Engineers off to look for the part.
30 minutes. More passengers getting upset while we kept up the smiles and refreshments.
Closed doors for 2nd engine test run. 15 minutes. Clear!
Opened doors for refueling, new load sheets and mountains of paperwork, water and juice uplift…lots of people getting in and out. More questions about connecting flights. Another 30 minutes crept past in this midst of mayhem…
Closed doors for the last time. At last!! We are off again.
Getting tired as only slept 2 hours.
There was a moment of peace and tranquility...
Suddenly a familiar voice came on the P.A. again.
ARRRGGHH… lucky am not sitting facing passengers to witness my face contort to grimace.
Busy time of the day, need another 10 minutes to queue for take-off. Phew!! At least it is not another technical problem.
Finally took off. Wheee!!! 7 hours of flight time seemed like forever that day though. Answered same questions yet again about connecting flights. A lot of them are so concerned they don’t realize they are repeating questions. Really empathized with them as it’s already a certainty they already lost their connecting flights. Patience comes easy when you feel for them, especially the nice and understanding ones who are not threatening to cut your head off while venting their frustrations.
We were told mid-flight that 150 passengers won’t have accommodation that night due to shortage of rooms in London. For a moment I feel sorry for the ground staff who have to break the bad news to the affected ones upon arrival, but I feel more sorry for the passengers as some have came a long way. They must be dead beat already though still blissfully unaware the saga does not end with the flight.
Have never been happier to see the gloomy skies of London as we were preparing for approach. By that time I am so tired my sanity is hanging by a thread…fighting to stay awake for the landing…
The moment I felt the wheels touch the ground, it was sheer relief taking over my almost brain dead mind and gave me some needed adrenaline boost.
Another P.A. came on so unexpectedly I almost jumped out of my skin. Maybe its a better idea by now to stop making P.As I thought, but a captain has his obligation to keep everyone informed.
Haven’t been there for ages, but don’t normally request for the flight anyway coz we stay real close to the airport and real far from the city, and the 24 hours layover don’t allow much time to do much after the normally tiring flight.
Just looking forward to the nice and fluffy bed, Macdonalds and petrol station shop visit…catch up on some world news…read…watch dvds…sleep!!
Checked evita, my most trusted gal in EK before pick up and received message of 30min delay of flight…no big deal, got time to check weather there online and sip a cuppa tea. 15-19deg! London never fails to cool in the middle of summer.
Everything seemed ok until we were taxiing on the runway and the captain’s voice came on the P.A. Silent dread as news of having to return to stand due to a technical problem forced their way into our ears. One of my first class passenger let out an angry “what??!!” so loud I think the whole cabin can hear him.
I realised later he is right after all for such a huge reaction…coz this is just the beginning of a series of P.A. for 15min-waits and a very long long day.
Found out the culprit is the faulty de-icing valve on the left wing. Guessed you don’t wanna take off with that problem.
Opened doors and engineers and ground staff swarmed in and out during initial stage of discussions and actions. Decision made to test run engines to see if need to change the valve or not. 15 minutes gone...
Closed doors for the test run. Another 15 minutes. Full load of passengers started asking about their connecting flights…we have LOTS of passengers connecting to America and domestically within UK.
Opened doors. Must change the valve before we go. Engineers off to look for the part.
30 minutes. More passengers getting upset while we kept up the smiles and refreshments.
Closed doors for 2nd engine test run. 15 minutes. Clear!
Opened doors for refueling, new load sheets and mountains of paperwork, water and juice uplift…lots of people getting in and out. More questions about connecting flights. Another 30 minutes crept past in this midst of mayhem…
Closed doors for the last time. At last!! We are off again.
Getting tired as only slept 2 hours.
There was a moment of peace and tranquility...
Suddenly a familiar voice came on the P.A. again.
ARRRGGHH… lucky am not sitting facing passengers to witness my face contort to grimace.
Busy time of the day, need another 10 minutes to queue for take-off. Phew!! At least it is not another technical problem.
Finally took off. Wheee!!! 7 hours of flight time seemed like forever that day though. Answered same questions yet again about connecting flights. A lot of them are so concerned they don’t realize they are repeating questions. Really empathized with them as it’s already a certainty they already lost their connecting flights. Patience comes easy when you feel for them, especially the nice and understanding ones who are not threatening to cut your head off while venting their frustrations.
We were told mid-flight that 150 passengers won’t have accommodation that night due to shortage of rooms in London. For a moment I feel sorry for the ground staff who have to break the bad news to the affected ones upon arrival, but I feel more sorry for the passengers as some have came a long way. They must be dead beat already though still blissfully unaware the saga does not end with the flight.
Have never been happier to see the gloomy skies of London as we were preparing for approach. By that time I am so tired my sanity is hanging by a thread…fighting to stay awake for the landing…
The moment I felt the wheels touch the ground, it was sheer relief taking over my almost brain dead mind and gave me some needed adrenaline boost.
Another P.A. came on so unexpectedly I almost jumped out of my skin. Maybe its a better idea by now to stop making P.As I thought, but a captain has his obligation to keep everyone informed.
Apparently the bridge that was allocated to us is not available yet so we must wait for about 20 minutes on the tarmac.
When we did make it to the bridge, there was a problem connecting it to the aircraft. Another 10 minutes of fumbling around. Talk about things when they do go wrong...
When we did make it to the bridge, there was a problem connecting it to the aircraft. Another 10 minutes of fumbling around. Talk about things when they do go wrong...
Still smiling actually, and I am not referring to the fake EK smile resembling a botox grin that we have to adopt sometimes. Know things do happen and it is no one’s fault, just a bad day on the job.
More and major consolation came from the reciprocal smiles and big heartfelt thank yous from most of the passengers(except the innately grumpy ones) as they were disembarking…for a great flight despite all the hiccups and them losing their connecting flights.
More and major consolation came from the reciprocal smiles and big heartfelt thank yous from most of the passengers(except the innately grumpy ones) as they were disembarking…for a great flight despite all the hiccups and them losing their connecting flights.
This is the end I thought…but there is more waiting waiting…and by that time I already gave up looking at the watch.
Of all the times I have been to London, the crew bus is never late. In fact, it is always there before us.
Not that day.
We waited another 15 minutes for the bus to appear. Got on and found out the bus is not loaded with our suitcases yet(another first of its case) so we have to drive over to wait for our bags to be loaded.
Got to the hotel room three and a half hours later than I expected.
Of all the times I have been to London, the crew bus is never late. In fact, it is always there before us.
Not that day.
We waited another 15 minutes for the bus to appear. Got on and found out the bus is not loaded with our suitcases yet(another first of its case) so we have to drive over to wait for our bags to be loaded.
Got to the hotel room three and a half hours later than I expected.
But at least there is no more waiting.
Read and watched nothing that I brought with me during the stay, but found out that the new chicken snack wrap from Macdonalds is very very yummy.
The next day we received an official note from the management for a job well done and how passengers gave positive feedback and gratitude to us after the flight.
Read and watched nothing that I brought with me during the stay, but found out that the new chicken snack wrap from Macdonalds is very very yummy.
The next day we received an official note from the management for a job well done and how passengers gave positive feedback and gratitude to us after the flight.
Now that is a happy ending to me.
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